


Aleatory Metanoia

by westallenkiss



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Cutting Edge (1992)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Asmodeus is actually not so much a douche, Asmodeus likes Alec, Based off the Movie The Cutting Edge, Confident Alec Lightwood, Ice Skating, Ice Skating AU, M/M, MALEC slow burn, Malec, Malec AU, Malec Fluff, Rich Magnus Bane, Sassy Magnus Bane, TOE PICK!!, The Cutting Edge - Freeform, alec is a hockey player, alternate universe - figure skating, magnus is a figure skater, slow burn magnus/alec
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:41:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 36,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25586854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westallenkiss/pseuds/westallenkiss
Summary: aleatory (adj.):relying on chance or an uncontrolled element in the details of life in the creation of art.// Whereas Magnus is a figure skater, beautiful, talented, pure art in it's truest form.metanoia (n.):the journey of changing one's mind, heart, self, or way of life.// Whereas Aleca hockey player loses it all and doesn't believe in fate until Magnus steps in his life.“They say when you meet the love of your life, time stops, and that's true. What they don't tell you is that when it starts again, it moves extra fast to catch up.”The egotistical hockey player meets the ignorant and spoiled figure skater by chance after both of them lose tragically reaching for the gold. Can they work together to get the gold without love getting in the way of their chance?
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 28
Kudos: 47





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The movie The Cutting Edge has inspired the majority of this story as much as the plot is similar but I am very much making it my own as much as I can.
> 
> I have also decided to use Alec as the narrator of the story as it's in first person.

“He shoots, he scores, the crowd goes wild!” I shouted to what I thought was myself. “I can play hockey, assholes telling me I can’t!” I continued as I skated around the net with my puck. I just wanted to be alone and practice. Practice makes perfect, right? Even if they told me I can’t play, I’m determined to prove them wrong in just a few months. When I want something, I go for it. I don’t makeup excuses either, I just get what I want and I’m sick of people telling me I need to calm down and just wait for it to come to me. No, not anymore.

I heard clapping coming from the bench. I turned around quickly and ended up falling right on my ass. I quickly got myself up and brushed myself off to look at the young boy standing there looking at me like I was the biggest idiot in the world. “Well, for one thing, I thought that you insane for talking to yourself, but now I see your also a klutz.” He told me, stepping out onto the ice with what looked like figure skates. 

“Oh? Well, I thought I was alone. They told me nobody would be here.” I just shrugged him off and turned myself around. His face somehow imprinted in my mind though. He was really pretty, I felt like I’d seen him before. His eyes were hazel and they glowed in the dim light of the rink. His skin was radiating off the lights of the dim rink too, he was beautiful, not pretty, just beautiful, I never saw someone look like him before.

I had to turn around to get a second glance, this time I didn’t fall though, and I could tell he took note of how I moved. “Yeah, well I’m just here to practice myself, but I come every day at this time, so you are obvious invading my rink, so buh-bye.” He winked and then he even waved. Was he being serious with me? All these gorgeous features and he was a complete twat.

“Excuse me? But, I don’t think I’ll be going anywhere. This rink is big enough for both of us.”

“Is that so, Lightwood?” He inquired raising brow and I was still staring at him a bit helplessly, I really hoped he didn't notice.

“How do you know my name?” I asked stupidly.

“The back of your shirt, dumbass.” He rolled his eyes at me.

“Oh.” Yeah, I might be a little bit stupid sometimes, but that didn’t stop me from continuing this fight. “Well, now that you know my last name, what is your last name?”

“Bane.”

Ha! Wow, I knew I knew him from somewhere. “Thee Magnus Bane? The one that lost his gold medal for being dropped by his partner?”

“Oh shut up, you don’t know the entire story…and I am not going to tell you either.”

“You don’t have to, I don’t care.”

“Yeah, so are you going to leave now?”

“No." 

"Fine then, if you get in my way, you’ll be sorry.”

Was that a threat? Because I literally choked on my spit.

“Ohh, I’m so scared!” I rolled my eyes and turned around to go and find my puck. He looked like he couldn’t hurt a fly. He was a skinny figure skater, I was a hockey player. I wouldn’t dare hurt him though. That wouldn’t be nice no matter how badly he would diss me. If he was a hockey player maybe it would be a different story. 

Upon finding my puck, I went around the net and stopped putting myself in the middle of it, to take note of what he was doing. He was skating all fancy-like, it was kind of really intriguing, and then he went and did one of those Pirouette/Axel thingies. I thought he was going to fall but he landed perfectly. I couldn’t help but think about if I could ever do that. There was no harm in trying, I was pretty good in ice skating. I didn’t say anything but just started skating around him. Magnus glanced at me. It wasn’t a nice glance though, in fact, I thought I heard him growl. I just gave him a smirk and picked up some speed and tried one of those things. To my surprise, I landed, not as perfect as him but I only stumbled.

“Oh…wow…are you trying to impress me? That was absolutely horrid." 

"I don’t have figure skates on. I bet if I did, I could have nailed it.”

“In your dreams. You’re a hockey player, do not take invade my sport. We don’t need ignorant people like you.”

“Who are you calling ignorant? You are the most stuck up person I’ve ever met." 

"Magnus Bane!” Someone shouted from the stands and interrupted him from coming back with something. He excused himself and skated over to them. I followed because I was now being nosey. “This young man, he is your new partner!”

“WHAT?!” We both shouted.

“I heard about his injury, he wants the gold just as much as you do though…" 

"Father, I will not work with this man, he is a hockey player….what the hell does he know about figure skating?”

“I saw what he did, he isn’t that bad. And you need someone like him to shut you up!”

Magnus looked down at the ice when his father said that. I almost felt kind of bad but there was no way in hell I was going to figure skate. I was just a show-off. That thing I did out there didn’t mean I wanted to do all the time. “I’m sorry, sir. But I don’t think you want me to learn how to skate. I rather just play hockey.”

“You can’t play hockey, I found you while I was looking around for someone to help my son out, I know you want the gold too. I know it meant everything to you. Together you can do it.” He started to tell me. I wasn’t sure why he was looking for me or how, but I figured since I was an MVP once that maybe it was obvious I was still at least good at skating, just a fucking stupid injury was stopping me from playing the thing I loved most. Well, figure skating wasn’t anything like hockey but suddenly it felt like a good idea…

“I guess I’ll give it a try.”

“Like hell, you won’t. I won’t have it!” Magnus shouted at his father. 

“Magnus, let me try. I just might be good at it.” I raised a brow to him, he really didn't have to be such a dick 99% of the time, already I hated him.

“I don’t want you as my partner, I hate you already. You’ll end up just like the rest of them.” So I guess he hated me too. 

“Are you afraid I’ll drop you in the middle of winning?” I was definitely trying to be just as much of a dick to him as he was to me. I certainly thought it was working.

“Oh shut up, please.” Magnus rolled his eyes at me in complete disgust. I absolutely loved it.

“You are going to give him a chance, Magnus and that is final. So far I love him already for not taking your shit, and standing up for himself.” 

At least his father loved me?

I had to laugh a bit. This was kind of funny. So he was very hard to work with? Now I wanted this challenge even more. What was the worse that could happen? We both wanted the same thing.

“Fine. But if you do anything that I don’t like as so much as even dropping me, you are _gone_.” He nodded his head and spun himself around gracefully skating off to the center of the rink. 

This certainly was going to take a lot of getting used to, but like I said I never gave up, I do what I have to no matter what. It wasn’t for him, it was for me. I was greedy. I wanted to win and didn’t care how.

—–

Magnus didn’t want to do anything for the rest of the night but just skate to himself. I let him do that while I chatted with his father. It was weird talking to him but seemed a lot different than Magnus. He had such great expectations for his son, and I wished my father was like that. It was hard growing up with only my mother. She put me in hockey so I could be social at school. I didn’t ever think I would enjoy it so much. It was always hard to make friends, even in hockey, but it was always a lot easier to pick fights. My dad never cared about what I did, he never taught me anything either, everything I had to learn myself. Maybe it was the fact that I was gay. But here was Magnus’s father so proud that his son was out and proud to be who he was; I just got more comfortable talking to him.

“Alright! Enough chit-chat!” Magnus came out of nowhere interrupting us. “Do you mind?” He looked to me and pulled me over the wall. Wow, he was strong. And he didn’t stop there he dragged me to the center of the rink. “I’m willing to do this, if you are willing to do this.”

“Why couldn’t you tell me that over there?”

“Shut up, answer my question, are you willing to do this?”

“Yes.”

“Good. I’m complicated, you better get used to it and fast.”

“Believe me, I think I already am.”

“Good, so we’ll continue this tomorrow.”

“Um, alright.” I shrugged, was that it. I could leave now? He just looked at me, and I couldn’t help but get lost in his eyes. He had really nice features. I wondered then if he had a boyfriend not that it mattered…there was no fucking way I’d ever hook up with him. But right now I didn’t like the silence. “Do you want to go grab something to eat with me or something?” I’d thought I’d ask, it would be nice to get to know him a little more – it was the least I could do – he was the one skating all by himself debating if he wanted to work with me or not. And why the hell I ever agreed to it was beyond me so yeah it was definitely the least I could do.

“Are you asking me out?” He raised his eyebrows and put his hands on his hips.

“No, I’m asking if you want to go to dinner.”

“Like a date?”

“No, it’s not a date unless you want it to be.”

“No, I don’t want it to be! You are so stupid, I swear." There was that eye roll again, but he really needed to chill on calling me stupid. 

"Whatever, it was just a question. If I was hitting on you, believe me, you’d know.” I retorted back, and just started to skate off, he was impossible. I couldn’t even fathom how the hell this entire situation was going to work.

“I want to.” He said just above a whisper for me to hear. I turned back around on the ice and didn’t fall, I hope I looked graceful.

“Where?” I asked curiously now.

“McDonald's. Nothing fancy, it’s not a date, remember?” He gave me a wink and skated passed. “Meet me in the parking lot." 

I did as he said right after I got off my skates and grabbed my hoodie. He did the same thing and we were in silence again meeting in the parking lot at the same time. "I’ll drive,” I said. 

“I was going to suggest you do and then you’d have to drive me back here to meet with my father…I don’t drive.”

I just nodded that was one confession he told me. I was going to keep track. I felt like he was getting scared of me because even if I was stupid, I obviously wasn’t taking his crap.

—–

I completely underestimated Magnus. This really wasn’t a date. He ordered himself and paid for himself. I would have offered but he was set on the entire thing. We took a seat, and he started to eat rather quickly. “You aren’t bulimic are you?" 

"What makes you think that? Because I’m a figure skater, skinny and eating like a pig?”

“Well yeah…”

“That’s stereotype. For your information… _NO_. I am not.”

Well great, I pissed him off.

“I was just saying…”

“Yeah, you were assuming…”

“…well you can’t blame me.”

“Yeah I can, I burn off all my calories with a fast metabolism and I work out every morning…”

I just gave a nod, I didn’t know what to say to that. And then I just went back to finishing my french fries. 

He looked up from his food directly at me when he was done. He grabbed his drink and slurped it before speaking, “So, I just realized something, Lightwood…”

I raised an eyebrow and gave a curious look for him to continue on.

“…You know my first name, and last name but all I know is your last name.”

“Would you like to know my name?” I asked, to be honest, I expected him to just say ‘no’ proceed to get up and leave me to put his garbage away. 

“I wouldn’t have said, you know… if I didn’t want to know…” 

That damn stupid eye roll happened again. 

I laughed a bit, he was still sarcastic about it. “My name is Alec.”

“Alec.” He repeated in this really different accent that I didn’t even know he had up until right now. “Nice to meet you, Alexander.” He bowed a bit with his head and extended his hand. I didn't correct him, no one called me Alexander before but I figured he was being proper, and it kind of just fit coming out of his mouth, but now what…was he was trying to be cute with me? I just shook my head at him and gave him my own eye roll but still took his hand to shake. He gave a smirk and pulled his hand away. 

Well fuck.

He must have felt it too.

Damn, this was going to be harder than I thought…


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for the lovely kudos and comments, keep it up, and this'll keep coming. i hope you like the difference in my writing with this one. 
> 
> i would also like to mention that i have used a certain line from the movie this is based off of. so if you've seen it you'll know what it is. all credit of course goes to the movie and the inspiration to write this...

We were back in front of the hockey arena, as I had driven him back. I expected him to get right out and say goodnight but that wasn’t exactly the case. 

“So I’ll see you tomorrow?” I asked breaking the silence, because I felt like he was just staring at me, waiting for me to say something anyway.

“Yeah, 6am sharp.” He said putting his hand to the door handle.

“6am?!” I gasped. It was almost midnight and I didn’t get any sleep last night, he was joking right?

“Mhm, is that a problem, _Alexander_?" Oh dear god, did he have to say my name like that? 

"Yes! I don’t get up till at least noon if you’re lucky. And I didn’t sleep any last night.”

“Well that’s too bad, if you want this, you’ll do it.” He told me with a certain smirk in his voice. I didn’t like that. He wasn’t going to make me give up.

“I guess, I will have to huh?”

“Yeah, if I am there every day at 6 am – you can be too…”

“I thought you only practiced at night, and I was invading your time!” Ha, I got him there, didn’t I?

He laughed and rolled his eyes at me as if he was reading my thoughts. “You’re good, but yeah I changed my mind, just now." He smirked this time and I wanted to slap him but how did I also somehow just want to wrap him up in my arms and kiss him? Why what the hell? No way. This isn't wasn't happening to me. I was staring again. "6 am sharp, if you’re a minute late, I’ll kick you to the curb like the rest of them.” He told me, and he was trying to be serious but he had a certain look on his face…I knew he was testing me. I only gave him a nod and rolled my eyes pushing his shoulder to get out of my car. He got the hint and shook his head, and I saw another smirk forming at his lips before he exited.

I honestly couldn’t sleep at all. I had far too much on my mind. Like seriously was I really going to be an ice skater? Did I really want a gold medal that much in my life? Did that make me greedy? Was it worth all this serious drama between someone I couldn’t stand? Well, I definitely could understand looking at him, _like all the time_! No, I wasn't going to fall for him, he is going to be impossible to work with. Well, I must have eventually fallen asleep because the next thing I knew was my alarm going off louder than ever but that was probably because I was so fucking tired. I groaned having to press snooze for a good 10 minutes. And then when it went off again, I glanced to the clock and it said 5:45 – _shiiiiiiiit_. I got out of bed as fast as I could. I didn’t even bother to look in the mirror. I wasn’t going to be late. I did the best I could without getting a ticket and when I pulled up to the arena, it was 5:55. I fucking did it. I got out of my car and ran inside. I was greeted by Magnus’s father. He escorted me to the locker room and showed me a pair of figure skates. 

“For me?” I asked him curiously.

“Yes, Magnus insisted I give you a pair. He hopes it makes you better at what you are doing out there.”

I had to chuckle. Magnus insisted? That was pretty sweet of him, but I knew what his ego was like and just how he was thinking. I gave a small nod right afterward and thanked him. 

“They should fit perfectly, you can get them on and Magnus will meet you on the ice at 6:30. He’s running a little late, he overslept.”

“Oh? He told me to be here at 6am sharp!” I said matter of factly and made a face.

Magnus’s father gave me a pat on the shoulder, “He’s really testing you. Congratulations.”

We both just ended up laughing, till he left me to get myself ready. I still felt rather loopy from lack of sleep, but at the same time, I was kind of excited to start this. Last night while I was thinking all those thoughts, I figured I’d somehow end up liking it. Like if I wasn’t meant to play hockey like I thought I was…figuring skating would be the next best thing?

After I laced myself up and made sure they fit properly, I waited a bit in the locker room trying to rest my eyes for a little bit longer. 

Even if Magnus was testing me and I really was here first, I still didn’t want to disappoint him in sucking today. I knew he couldn’t kick me to curb and find someone else like he said he would. His father had _say_ in what he did, and no one wanted to work with him anymore. And as sad as it was, I already noticed that. He was going to be impossible like I already said, but I am determined.

Figure skates were a lot different than my hockey skates. They had this comb-like thing on the front underneath the toe and it was unbalancing me. I wasn’t used to it, and I didn’t even know what it was for. I stepped out onto the ice and gained my balance however and tried to skate. I felt like I was really clumsy and one false move and I was going to fall right on my ass. 

“I see you’ve passed part one of my test.” I heard his voice say as I tried to turn around in _a skating like matter_ but fell flat on my damn ass just like I predicted.

“Toe pick.” He said to me. 

I looked to him a bit dumbfounded as I got myself up and rubbed my ass. 

“In order to stop, spin, or turn around, even jump and lift yourself up off of the ground…you use the toe pick.” He got onto the ice and lifted his foot up and all the way out pointing to the thing I didn’t know was. I just gave a nod like I really was clueless but I was more concerned about how the hell he had his leg so far out like he was some kind of contortionist. If he wanted me to do something like that eventually, I think it was is safe to say that he is out of his mind. “Why are you staring at me, is this bothering you?” He just so happened to ask, I guess noticing how enthralled I was pretty much. He then put his leg down and skated around me searching me for an answer.

“There is no way in hell I am going to be doing that.”

“I see, well don’t worry you won’t have to do anything like that. You just need to skate your ass off and lift me up and allow me to do it. I will make you look good, and you have to make me look good by just _NOT_ dropping me." 

I could only really nod as I tried to skate with him, trying to be as fancy as he was, and trying my hardest to get used to this toe pick thing, although it wasn’t working at all. I felt so ridiculous and I could tell that he was getting pretty frustrated with me.

Just when I thought I was disappointing him even more, his father came out to give us some instructions. Magnus was really hard on me now trying his hardest to impress his dad and leave me looking like the fool. Even if I was the fool for even considering this as he was the one playing me, I still wasn’t giving up. 

We were instructed to skate together and we were doing fine, or least I think I had finally got the hang of it. Then I heard his father mention for us to drift apart a bit and for me to come around him and as I went to do that, I don’t know how it happened or what happened but I ended up falling hard against the ice. 

Magnus looked down at me as he shaved ice on me from his stop. He put his hand on his hips and looked at him almost devilishly, and repeated the words, " _Toe pick_.”

I nearly wanted to scream and just call it quits right then and there, but I got myself up and folded my arms across my chest.

I could see now that I wasn’t only pissing off Magnus, but his father two. I felt pretty damn ridiculous as he instructed me to lift up Magnus as he had put his arms out. I did as I was told and his father was looking at us. “Good. Now stand up straight, Magnus, you take that puss off your face.” I did as I was told, but I couldn’t see if Magnus did. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. I couldn’t ever see myself taking Magnus and tossing him or something or bringing over my head. As light as he was, I was definitely not ready for a move like this. “A little higher, please Alec…that’s right there…do not move.” I was instructed as I did so lifting Magnus as high as I could. 

“This is ridiculous.” Magnus pouted, “…put me down!”

“No, don’t. Not yet. You need to get used to him, and start to prepare yourself for what we will do soon.” His father mentioned. 

I swallowed and closed my eyes, just holding him for whatever reason.

“Alright, let go.”

I let go like I was told to and Magnus fell flat on his ass. I heard him shirk and then he turned around and looked up at me, “You are absurd!” He shouted and growled and then just got up and skated off. I heard him mumbling obscenities afterward obviously he was terribly pissed at me. I was never ever supposed to drop him but he had that coming. 

“That was excellent. He may have fallen on his ass, but I did say let go. Don’t worry, he’ll get over it. He just doesn’t like people dropping him, and you won’t do that in the competition will you?” His father spoke to me as I was still eying the figure skater grumbling to himself as he skated back and forth in a corner.

“I promise.” I nodded.

“Practice is over.” He announced and left the ice. I wasn’t so sure why I even began skating over to Magnus after that, but when I got there I got the evilest glare I think I have ever gotten so far working with him. I was damn sure there was going to be more where that came from. 

“How dare you drop me like that.” He spoke, hands on his hips.

“I was just doing what I was told.”

“I could have hurt myself.”

“Like I didn’t every single time you used that toe pick thingie…”

“You just don’t get it, do you?”

“No, I don’t actually. I’m a hockey player, I am not a figure skater!”

“Then why the hell are you doing this? To torture me, because it’s goddamn working, I can’t stand you!”

“I can’t stand you either, but like I said a million times, I don’t give up.”

He scoffed at me, I guess he was the same way. “I don’t see us working out, but for my damn father’s sake, I guess I have to continue on because he thinks you’re going to improve…”

“I don’t see myself getting better overnight, but I do know practice makes perfect,” I answered him with a slight frown.

But he actually gave me a small smile. I think he liked that answer. “Tomorrow at 6am, don’t be late.”

I laughed and turned my back on him and this time it was me to skate away like it meant something…

—-

When I told Magnus that practice meant that I was going to improve, I really meant it. There was so much improvement in my skating. I was even learning how to use the _toe pick thingie_ …as I like to call it. My moves weren’t so good as his, but I learned how to do a double axel, and I was set on doing a triple very soon. We had been practicing like this for a good 2 months, and not once did I hear him complain about how badly I was doing. In fact, every single day he gave me some sort of encouragement. I could see that he was beginning to trust me because I wasn’t a liar. 

But I noticed something within Magnus that I knew I had in myself. Magnus didn’t have any of it. He never really ever looked me in the eyes and when he would skate, he didn’t show emotion. I caught him a couple of times on the ice and it felt like he wasn’t enjoying himself. He was like a robot almost, and the fact that I was improving was getting to him but for the sake of his father, he seemed to have silenced himself from barely even speaking. He was on autopilot the majority of the time we skated and the only time he ever spoke to me and he said, “Good job, see you tomorrow." 

I was staying at his house. His father had made me. Turns out that he actually owned that arena I always skated in, and he was pretty much a millionaire that I got my own room and everything - far away from Magnus in the house - just how he liked it. I’m pretty sure at least? He never really talked to me unless he was somehow forced to like when I was invited down to dinner. I learned a lot about his family. His mom was thee figure skater. His dad was always a coach because he didn’t like to get on the ice but he had studied everything he needed to know and even created figure skating moves that not even Magnus could attempt or someone like Scott Hamilton. There was a picture actually of Magnus and Scott Hamilton, and well the picture was nice but not even in that picture Magnus was smiling. When I met Wayne Gretzky the greatest hockey player to ever live in my opinion, you have no idea how badly I was smiling. So I didn’t get it - there was just something really wrong with Magnus and I was soon going to find out.

I have to say another good 3 months past, and I was now officially ready for Nationals or so I was told. I felt ready, but I still needed a boost of confidence and I still wanted to nail my triple axel. Christmas was just around the corner, and then after that, we had to head out to the West Coast to get ourselves ready for the _big time_ and see us winning Nationals so we were then ready for the Olympics. It felt like it was an impossible dream but this was 3 and half years later from when I almost had it as a hockey player…

I knocked on the door to Magnus’s room, where he had spent the majority of his time when he wasn’t skating. "Come in.” He answered to my knock moments after so I cautiously opened the door to his room to simply find him sitting on his windowsill looking out to the nice snowfall for this particular time of the year. He was sipping hot cocoa too. I don't know what was more beautiful, the snow that I love or him. Fuck, I mean...well, no I don't mean anything but that. It was kind like a scene in a movie, where I wanted to just sit and stare at it as if I was almost freezing time. I wasn’t falling for him or anything like that - he was just so beautiful to look at no matter how many times I saw him - it always felt like the first time. “Well, don’t just stand there and stare at me, jesus, Alec you seem so dumb sometimes…”

Yeah, he always had the nicest things to say to me too, so way to always ruin the damn moment in my head. Not that I would tell him that, “Do you always have to be so…so…sarcastic, I mean…”

“No. But whatever - what do you want?” He swung his legs over the edge, and put his mug down and looked to me with raised eyebrows. I had obviously bothered him from a really big important thought.

“It’s almost Christmas, and well I got you something…”

“Oh?” He raised his eyebrows even further and sat himself up. We came face to face now and the only thing I could do was swallow and hand him the box that was behind my back. He took the semi-big box from my hands and opened it right away almost too cute like a little kid just receiving his first gift ever. He rummaged through the tissue paper and pulled out what it was. “An Idiot’s Guide To Hockey…” he read it aloud and then looked to me as he placed it back into the box and turned around rather quickly to set it on the windowsill. I could have sworn I saw a smile on his face or well a half-smirk as to what he had always given me. It was a joke anyway, I had just wanted to see if I could get him to crack a smile at least. “Thank you,” He said simply. “I like it and I got you something too." 

He crept behind me to reach something from his desk and he handed it to me. "So You Want To Be A Figure Skater…” I read out loud and had to almost giggle. 

“Great minds think alike?” He said out loud to me with another small smirk.

“Oh, so I’m great? And you’re comparing my mind with yours?”

“Not technically…” He joked right back and there I had it - Magnus had finally giggled with something I said. I felt more accomplished than anything right now. Not even landing my triple axel next week would be as good as a feeling as this accomplishment.

He shook his head at me though and started to push me out of the room now that our little moment was over. I held the book to my chest and promised to read it, and then he gave a nod and I hope that meant he’d at least read mine to see the hard work I really did go through. 

“Tomorrow?” I asked him. 

He nodded again, but then he held the door open and pulled me back for a second, “I forgot to ask you…would you come with me to the Christmas party my family is having tonight? I mean I know you probably know about it, but everyone - like all my relatives are going to be there and they’re going to want to meet you and I have to show you off…and I know that kind of might be a little awkward to you but it would mean a lot to me.”

“Of course, I’ll be there. It’s not a problem.” I said to him softly and meant it because it was going to be nice to meet everyone and get to know so much more about him that was intrigued by. 

“Thank you, Alexander. You don’t have to stay around me all night - you know? Just until everyone gets acquainted with you and then hopefully my boyfriend will show up and I can just take the rest of the night in ease.”

Boyfriend!? Boyfriend!!! He had a boyfriend? My mind went blank. Why did I even care if he did or didn’t? He just never mentioned him - like at all. And I wouldn’t think a guy like him with no personality whatsoever even had a boyfriend! Whatever. I just nodded one last time and forced a small smile and closed the door on my own, leaving to go straight to my room. I had to look nice for this Christmas party tonight and to be honest, now I didn’t even want to go.

I did manage to get myself to look decent for the party. I wasn’t in my normal attire for figure skating so it was a huge difference, not a lot I guess but it was noticeable. I came down from my room, and Magnus was waiting for me by the stairs as if it was almost too perfect. I felt kind of stupid but all in all - he looked just as sharp as I did and right away people that he knew started to come up to me and congratulate me. He was in fact showing me off and they all that had that congratulation look on their face and I guess that was because they all knew themselves how _impossible_ Magnus was to work with.

Then I could tell that he was getting a bit insecure with himself as he had started to hide behind me. I didn’t like that so much because it wasn’t like I was his boyfriend. 

“Magnus?” A young man then had said as I looked up from the tart-thingie that I was examining before I ate. Magnus emerged from behind me as I popped the tart in my mouth looking to the young boy - he was just as good looking as Magnus.

“Barry.” Magnus finally answered the young boy. “Oh, Barry this is Alec…he’s the hockey player that my father put me with to skate.” He only called me _Alec_ , he didn't go for the full Alexander to tell his boyfriend who I was. I don't know why that felt weird but it did. Was this other sign of me liking him? Goddamnit.

Barry gave me a nod and extended his hand, “Nice to meet you, Alec. My boyfriend’s told me all about you.” He gave this wink right afterward, what the hell was that supposed mean?

“Oh? Funny. He’s never mentioned a word to me about you.” I just had to say it, and hey it was the truth. I didn’t know a thing about him till today. 

I could see I ended up hurting his feelings just a bit and when I glanced over at Magnus he was standing there staring at the both of us pretty much with his hands folded across his chest. “As much as I’d like to sit and chat with you two, I don’t think I can handle all of it right now.” Magnus then said rather quickly and he vanished into the crowd.

“I heard you’ve gotten really good as the months passed, but I also heard about what you did to my Magnus when you first met him…”

It didn’t phase him that his boyfriend just left? And he rather talks to me? And he just said _my Magnus_ as if he was some kind of possession? “Umm, if you’re referring to dropping him on his ass…he deserved it. I wouldn’t say he deserved it now - but we were just starting to get to know each other, it was only a joke. I am pretty sure he would laugh at it now.”

“You’re ridiculous. Magnus would never laugh at a joke with you.”

“And how would you know? You weren’t around for 7 months…what kind of boyfriend are you?” Wow, I did just say that did I? I wasn’t trying to sound like I was rude or anything, but I felt like suddenly I needed to protect Magnus from this weird boyfriend of his. Meanwhile, it was actually pretty funny because he was trying to do the same for me. 

“I can’t see him as often because I am actually just as busy as he is with my career, so if you’ll excuse me - I don’t like to see him get hurt…”

I didn’t even care about the first part of the sentence that he stated. I wasn’t interested in that. I was only interested in coming back with something, “You don’t like to see him get hurt huh? Well, you must be disappointed every day of your life!” With that, I walked away as I had pretty much leaned in and handed him my drink that I was still holding in my hand. If Magnus wanted to yell at me for what I just did - I really didn’t care. The rest of the night I was on my own. It was time to get wasted because I didn’t know my thoughts right now or what I was feeling exactly. 

Minutes passed, maybe a few hours, I couldn’t even tell you but now that I had a few more drinks in me I was readily able to talk amongst everyone I didn’t know with no problem. I caught glimpse of Magnus and his boyfriend and I felt stupid really stupid. Magnus was happy with him. He had a smile on his face and it wasn’t that smirk-like one that I always got. I grabbed another drink and nearly did it like a shot. This was hurting me, and I wasn’t even into him like that…or was I?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> small note: for magnus' boyfriend i chose the name barry thinking of barry allen from the flash. i thought it fit well with the story. i hope you can see it too.
> 
> <3 i hope i've still got your interest and you are enjoying. take care!


	3. Chapter 3

I don’t remember much after I got drunk at the Christmas party, all I know is I was too drunk to function and I couldn’t remember a single thing to what I did after the fact I saw Magnus happy. As I rolled over I hit someone, oh fuck I slept with someone!?

Jumping up in bed, I found my best friend in bed next to me. Oh god. I swallowed and tried to remember what went on, but nothing was coming to me. “Andrew?" 

Groaning, Andrew got up and sat next to me, he was still dressed. I was able to breathe.

"What happened last night, we didn’t?…”

“Ew, god no. You called me to pick you up which was weird because you lived here…you were definitely too drunk, I had to take care of you and put you to bed. You told me not to leave - so I listened.”

I could only nod as the killer hangover was starting… _goddamn headache_. I glanced at the clock and was 8 am. Shit, did I miss a practice? “What’s today?”

“Saturday.”

“Oh thank god, no practice.” I fell back down in the bed and started to rub my temples. “Thanks, man, I’m sorry I called you to only come and take care of me…”

“It’s not a problem, it’s too bad you’re falling for him someone like him though…”

I looked over at him with a confused look, “What?”

“You are falling for that kid…”

“I am not falling for anyone.”

“Oh stop it, Alec. It’s obvious.”

“How is it obvious?”

“Drunk slurs are sober thoughts, you have no idea how pissed off you were that he had a boyfriend, and you kept telling me how you knew you could treat him better.”

“ _Fuck_.” I growled. Not at him but at myself. I didn’t want to be falling for him. I don’t think I was? Really, I didn’t have any feelings for him. It was impossible to feel something for someone like Magnus. “I don’t think I like him. I might be disappointed that he’s being treated so…I don’t know weirdly by that guy…I just know he can do better.”

“You feel like it’s your job to protect him…that means you want him, don’t deny it. I don’t want another tragedy with him. Please before it’s too late - tell him how you feel.”

“Whatever, Andrew. You can go now…I’m sorry for everything.” I was kicking him out and he always got the hint, he never clung to me and always gave me my space. Even if he wasn’t right, he knew me like the back of my hand - he wouldn’t give up till I admitted but he knew when to give me the space I needed. 

“I just hope that you don’t make this figure skating a career…you’re a hockey player - never forget that.”

I shook my head and gave him a look and all he could do was laugh while he closed the door behind me. He was right, this was absolutely crazy of me, but I couldn’t help that I was starting to enjoy it…

Or was I enjoying it because Magnus was beautiful to look at?

—-

We were getting closer to the day of Nationals. Magnus and I had to go for a fitting for our costume to wear, and right away I knew I wasn’t feeling the ridiculous outfit that was picked out. I didn’t want to skate in something like this. It was bad enough I wasn’t skating in my hockey jersey and that is what sparked my sudden idea. “Oh come on please, please let’s were hockey jerseys!” I was actually begging as Magnus’s father was actually trying to fix a button on my shirt. I looked so hideous and Magnus looked worse and the worst part was he was laughing at me.

“I am not wearing a hockey jersey.” He told me staring me down.

“But, it’ll be awesome. People will get it and they’ll love it. I know it.” I really didn’t know if they would or wouldn’t, but I couldn’t wear this out there. I felt like something or someone would get caught on something with the long selves this had, or how it had too many frilly things - anything could happen.

I explained myself to Magnus and his face suddenly changed, like he knew what I was talking about and he stopped everything and said what was it… he liked my hockey jersey idea. I was finally going to be comfortable skating! I felt nothing could go wrong now.

When the two of us arrived back at his place it was fairly late. We actually hung out as a couple would. Well, I mean not a couple who was dating but more like friends. He wasn’t talking much but when I did say something hoping I’d get him to laugh him did. He was starting to get my humor and that was a good thing. We ended up talking a lot about how we both got into skating and he finally admitted to me that he wasn’t so much into it as he was good at it. Like he knew it came naturally to him but it wasn’t what he dreamed of doing for the rest of his life. He just wanted something like I did… _gold_. And well the millions of dollars that came with it. We both laughed at our greed, but I wanted to be a hockey player for life. It was my goal and my dream and here I was figure skating, and I told him to believe me when I said just how hard it really was - harder than hockey ever would be. Magnus actually said to me that he would love to play a game of hockey with me when this was all over, and we made a deal that I would teach him a few things - we just didn't know when we could actually find the time to fool around because we were so focused on this right here and now.

Even if it was late, we still had one more thing to do before we officially took place in Nationals and that was to chose a song. He put in a tape and some kind of classical bullcrap was playing. I shook my head at him and turned on some Metallica. “This will be perfect. We can show them what we got.”

Magnus raised his eyebrows at me incredulously and switched it back to his music, “This is Beethoven! It’s perfect." 

"It’s boring.”

“It’s music you skate to!”

“But it’s boring! I can’t skate to that. We will put everyone to sleep.”

“You have obviously never watched any figure skating performances have you?" 

"No I have not, but if I did I would be asleep!” I retorted and he couldn’t come back with anything instead he growled and switched it back again. 

I whined and turned it back to mine, “THIS IS PERFECT. WE WANT TO ROCK!” I even yelled.

He turned it back, and screamed at me as if his music was even loud, “We will rock with this song!” He retorted trying to sound just as loud as me.

I turned it back and glared at him, he shook his head at me and covered his ears this time. I couldn’t help but laugh and I just went and tackled him down grabbing his hands in mine so he could listen to the nice instrumental music that was Metallica yes but had a very good sound to it. 

“We have to agree on it, I don’t like it.” He said simply. I frowned down at him, he wasn’t telling me to get off of him, and to be quite honest I didn’t want to move. I just kept staring, as if I was making him listen to the song. “…and we went with your idea for the costume, let’s go with my idea for the music.” He added. I started to breathe heavily. I was quite honestly turned on, and I was feeling bad because he was right. I was taking over his sport, even if he didn’t really give a shit about it, but maybe with me, he was starting to. “Alec, you’re kind of hurting me, would you mind getting off of me?” He asked politely when I forgot about my position on top of him, but I was still staring at him. 

“Not until you give this part of the song a chance to see what I mean.” I reached up to play the beginning of Metallica’s Unforgiven. It was a slow and steady beat and it had a small piano playing in the middle of the track. 

Magnus sighed, but he was listening and he tilted his head a bit look at me. I gave him a smile as he just shook his head and cursed under his breath. He got strength and pushed me off of him, “I like it." 

My eyes light up and I jumped to my feet. "So we can use it?”

“Yeah, I’m going to bed now before we wake up Barry with our fighting, so umm 6 am tomorrow - don’t be late. We’ll practice in our costume and skate to our music." 

I gave him a nod. The name of Barry made me cringe inside. I forgot that he was still around. I wouldn’t have even remembered he was in Magnus’s bed if he didn’t remind me because after all, he was hanging out with me the entire day and not him. 

I headed up to my room and jumped into bed giving my best friend Andrew a call. I owed him after all. I only got his voicemail, so I just hung up. I wasn’t going to leave a message with what I had to say. I browsed my phone for a few minutes looking to see who I could call - who would miss me even. It had been a while since I spoke to anyone. Months! I gave it a shot and called up my ex. We were still friends and I kind of missed him because when we did break up it was a good term and there were somethings I could tell him and not Andrew, usually.

"Oh hey, Alec.” He said to me after I had to actually say it was me.

“Did Andrew tell you what I’ve been doing?” I asked.

“Yeah buddy, sorry I can’t picture it like at all - you as a figure skater?”

I laughed a little, “I didn’t either, but our costume is going to be hockey jersey’s and we’re going to skate to the instrumental of ‘Unforgiven’…”

“That’s pretty cool, I guess…but Alec what about hockey…you’re giving up all this for some boy?” Even he had something to say about Magnus as if he was some boy. _Some boy that I was falling for right?_ To be honest, after today, I kind of figured in my head I was, but if he wasn't falling for me, I couldn't...I just couldn't.

“Even if I was falling for this boy, who has a name by the way and it’s Magnus…he has a boyfriend.”

“Is that all that is stopping you?”

“Stopping me from what?” I wasn’t playing dumb. I really didn’t know what he meant. 

“Alec, if you’re in love with him, you need to get him. I know you aren’t still harping over me, so what are you waiting for?”

“Oh.” I sighed. I didn’t know what I was waiting for but to be honest - I didn’t want to ruin anything we had as a team. “I don’t want to ruin anything between us. He’s a hard person to understand. Half the time I don’t even know what he’s thinking and I don’t even think he’s in it to have fun…”

“Then why the hell are you still around him?”

“I want more than anything to win a gold medal, and I’m good at this figure skating thing - if they don’t want me as a hockey player.”

“I find it really pathetic that you are giving up hockey to be a figure skater.”

With that statement, I couldn’t even talk anymore. He was right so I just hung up. I was giving up hockey to be a figure skater and the best part of all was that I liked it! It wasn't like I could play hockey anymore with half my vision gone on the left side. They said I could never play again, but if by some miracle I could? I guess I could find out and try out again but I wasn't thinking about now...I was thinking about _Magnus_.

The next thing I knew anyway it was 5 am on Monday and I had practice. I took my time getting ready and getting dressed because I was used to the whole Magnus being late thing too because he was only testing me. I was always on time and he never was. When I arrived it was 5:30am and I thought I’d have 30 minutes to myself as usual but not this time. There was Magnus figure skating so beautifully doing all those tricks that he did best. And all I could do was just stop and stare.

In the stands was Barry. _Ugh, that loser._ I rolled my eyes so hard. He was watching him and I noticed how he was watching him and I started to cringe. Yeah, he was watching him just like me. I put on my skates and I went out there into what Magnus was doing. I caught him by surprise, but he fell into my arms and I brought him up over my head and I spun him around just like I was taught. He looked down at me and gave this half-ass smirk. Our form was completely perfect and when it was time to put him down I eased him slowly back onto his skates and let him go as he skated around me. I turned around to look over at Barry who was no longer looking like he was, and that made me the happiest man alive for the second time around of knowing Magnus. _Shit. Fuck. Did I say shit?_ Time felt like it was moving slowly, Magnus was moving slowly around me, he looked like some kind of angel in disguise and he was mine, here I was falling in love...

“I don’t know what possessed you to do that, but that was perfect!” Magnus said to me seconds later when I realized I had stopped skating to look in Barry’s direction.

“Let’s put it to use in our show, and what I was thinking more than anything is for us to do a lot of that. I’ll skip my axel’s and save them for a later date, for now, I kind of want it to be all about you while we skate.”

He agreed with me nodding his head. “Just one thing, Alexander...”

I smirked and gave him a nod back, “Don’t drop you.”

“Correct.” Magnus nodded once more as he skated passed me and spun around in front of him leaning his head on my shoulder as he pushed his ass against my crotch while he looked up at me. Was this really happening right now? I felt myself getting hard and my cheeks started to flush. I skated backward taking him with me, and he was following my lead. “Lift me up.” He whispered. I just obeyed taking him straight up over my head and I could feel him turning himself over, and then next thing I knew he flipped over and he was behind me. I gulped because I didn’t drop him and Barry was staring directly at me now. 

And then I felt Magnus’s breath against my ear, “I’m sorry I turned you on there, partner…you might want to go to the bathroom and relieve yourself.” GOD. I NEVER FELT EMBARRASSED IN MY LIFE. I skated so fast out of the rink, but when I looked down I wasn’t hard anymore. I turned around to come back and face it but I was stopped by Magnus and Barry mid makeout. I just froze in place, so much for even getting another hard-on. This was something I did not want to see. Was he trying to mess with me now? Knowing my weakness? Was he in denial too? To just go over and kiss him to get out of my head? I didn't know. I was just upset now. How could this have possibly happened? I would never be ready for Nationals if all I could think about was how much everyone was right...I'd fallen for Magnus Bane...


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was so much fun to write, and for the longest time i had the performance that they actually did in my head with the couple below that i posted, i just dubbed the music for it for it as well. please enjoy and i hope you can visulize the way i was able to. also please note i do not own the music or the couple figure skating.

When I said to myself, I wasn’t falling for Magnus. I wasn’t falling for Magnus. I don’t know if it was me that was doing something wrong or he was really serious with Barry. I didn’t think his relationship with Barry was real, but that was up until the weirdo started to spend a lot of time with Magnus. And I wasn’t even jealous of him because he didn’t have a single thing that I needed to be jealous about. 

The day of Nationals was drawing close and we were so ready. We had so much chemistry on the ice so that you would think we were a couple, but it wasn’t the truth, not at all. Stupid Barry was in the way and it was so hard to like him. He was in the way of everything but as I said, I wasn’t falling for Magnus. I couldn’t fall for a guy like him. He was: trouble. That is what I had to keep telling myself anyway. Because the reality was that yeah, I am falling for Magnus. I get butterflies every time I see him. My heart stops beating sometimes and I find it so hard to even concentrate if I'm not holding him or touching him. Time stands still when we're on the ice and then when we let go of each other everything starts moving really fast. I can't stand how it makes me feel so it's been on my mind way too much and I just hope that sometimes it's not noticeable like everything else seems to be out there.

“Do you want to come out with Barry and me tonight?” Magnus asked me randomly out the blue while I was minding my own business at the dinner table. We hardly talked at the dinner table when it was just us. It was like we were always in two different worlds with two different thoughts so now I was taken a bit back and off guard like usual when he even spoke to me when we weren’t on the ice.

“Um.” Was all that I managed to get out while I stuffed my face with whatever it was I was eating.

“Nice, Alec. Real nice.” He growled under his breath, I’d obviously pissed him off already. “I shouldn’t have even bothered to be nice huh?”

“No, it’s just you’ve never asked me to hang out before, and I wouldn’t want to be in between you two, and it wouldn’t be my scene if you two are all over each other and I uh have no one?”

“Oh yeah, I didn’t think about that part.” He mentioned, “But I like you, Alec, you’re just so stupid sometimes.”

I looked to him like he was just a little bit crazy. He said I like you Alec, and my heart…it just skipped a couple of beats in my chest! What the hell? I shook my head and tried to get that thought out of my head and made him a little bit of a face. “Yeah, I guess I am stupid.” He ruined it anyway by calling me that. I didn’t understand why I was so stupid to him. Did he think of me any other way?

“Well, I’ve gotta get going. Don’t forget tomorrow at 6am sharp.” He gave me that little wink of his that he more than likely probably knew just how much I loved it. I took in a deep breath and just gave a nod. We had practice tomorrow at 6 am and then that was it…the next day was the day we proved to the world we deserved a shot in the Olympics. 

I thought I’d go to bed early for a change, considering I had to be up at 6. Although it never really affected me anymore because I gotten so used to it but I couldn’t sleep anyway. It was about 2 am now, and I heard a car door slam. It wasn’t a regular car door slam, it sounded angry. Looking out my window I found it to be Magnus and as he pretty much ran himself inside. I had to find out what was going on, but I didn’t want to feel like I was being nosey. 

Tip-toeing down the steps, I noticed he went straight to the living room. 

“You are late.” His father scolded him like he was a teenager.

“Fucking bullshit.” Magnus retorted like usual with his cursing.

“Magnus, why must you curse when you know you are wrong.”

“No, Dad. Barry didn’t want to listen to a word I had to say tonight. He kept talking about some kind of present he has for me after the competition and he I figured it out…and then he got all defensive…dad, he said you put him up to it, why would you do such a thing?”

“Because he makes you happy.”

“You have no idea what makes me happy. Do you think I’m happy? I’m fucking miserable.”

“Do you love him?”

“Yes.”

“Who do you love?”

My heart clenched in my chest. 

“Barry, you know I love Barry, why are you asking that?”

_Fuck._

“I just wanted to make sure.”

“Well one thing is for sure is that I’m sick of you making decisions for me. When I’m ready, I’ll let you know. Right now all I want to do is skate with Alec. He is all I care about right now.”

Wait, what? I’m all he cares about? I took in a deep breath and I actually held it.

“He’s not like Barry at all, and I treat him like shit because I’m so afraid of getting close to him…”

I exhaled and shook my head at what I was listening to, I must have been dreaming so I quickly dashed back up the stairs and ran to my room. I couldn’t listen to the rest of the conversation and I didn’t know why if it was about me and what Magnus was confessing but something told me not to continue listening.

Morning came and when my alarm went off I did my usual routine and headed downstairs grabbing something to eat quickly and skipped off to the arena. I forgot about what I really heard last night or I just pushed it out of my mind so far in the back that I wouldn’t think about it unless something meaningful triggered it. 

I entered the arena and waited for Magnus, he was right on time at his normal 6:30 am arrival. He gave me a look, and he didn’t have to say anything, I knew what he wanted from me, so I picked him up and spun him around for a good five seconds before putting him down. “Do you love it when I do that?” I joked.

“Yeah, you’re pretty graceful. I’m glad you thought of doing it in the competition. I didn’t think you were that graceful, to be honest, it was like you were hiding out on me.” Magnus confessed to me.

I could just feel my cheeks flushing as he said that about me, and I didn’t know what to say either. “Thanks, I guess I just did it to prove to you how much I want this." 

Magnus smiled at my words, I guess he felt how I felt and I didn’t need words. "Well, I guess it’s time to do our thing one last time! Are you ready?" 

I gave a quick nod and skated to the center of the rink as I waited for him. We moved together and went right into our first move. I could just hear the music playing over us, and I knew my choice was absolutely perfect. 

When I finished him off with one long spin around me, we parted quickly and we both took in a breath and exhaled. I think we knew how amazing it felt to be so good at something. I did so well and I had no idea how well, it was all just coming so naturally to me. I could only wonder if Magnus enjoyed it as much as I did now.

Magnus’s father came out with the music for our song just like we needed him to. I felt like even when he was coaching us he was still somewhere in the stands hiding out and watching us. I knew I was making him proud in that case. He instructed us to skate and make him proud so that was exactly what we did - this time to the music. When we finished I didn’t look directly at him, I felt so good about that I was blushing and Magnus was looking down to. I heard the clapping of his father, and then I felt Magnus take my hand to skate over to him. And that made me blush even more but I tried not to let show even if it was obvious. 

"I like how you two made it work. And Alec, you are focusing so much on my son. You are making him the star and it’s not exactly too much because you make yourself look so good with the ability you have to sway so evenly with Magnus. It’s brilliant. You didn’t even need me to coach you, it came so very naturally, so thank you." 

"You’re the best figure skater I have ever worked with if we don’t win this…then something is rigged.” Magnus added with a joke and smile that I had never seen on him when I lied and said I wasn't falling for him? Yeah. I was goddamn falling for him.

I lost my mind a little bit. I didn’t expect this kind of compliment from either of them. I didn’t know I was so good at something I had no idea what I was even doing - all I knew was that I was lifting Magnus up and around me and spinning him in all sorts of directions because it was exactly how it should have been. Magnus was beautiful and the world needed to know just how beautiful. Even if we were wearing hockey jerseys - it didn’t even matter what we wore, at least we were going to be comfortable - Magnus would still look beautiful - as I didn’t care how I looked.

Tomorrow was the big day, I could not believe it I was ready to puke. Would I?

\-------

“Oh hello there, Magnus who do we have here?” Some weird looking dude asked him as he was staring right at me.

“This, my partner, Alec Lightwood.” He introduced me. The guy then gave me some kind of wink and skated off.

To my surprise, Magnus went and explained. Turns out that the weird guy was his ex-partner. Well, that was awkward.

Now, I had no idea what was going on anymore. His ex-partner was really fucking good out there on the ice. So why or well how did he drop Magnus? I needed some answers but I didn’t think now was the time.

I need to focus on other things at the moment. I began to ponder as to why Barry wasn’t around to see Magnus skate. Didn’t he want to watch him win? He was there for the little things and never the big. Okay, wait why was I thinking about Barry when I needed to focus on what I was about to do soon…figure skate?

To say I was nervous was an understatement. I felt like I could puke. My body wasn’t ready for this as much as we practiced and as much as we knew how damn good we were. My nerves were a wreck and I couldn’t even more from the position I was in as I was watching everyone else's performances. Not many were even that good and then I wondered to myself were we even that good? I felt Magnus glancing at me and I just felt my nerves getting worse.

“Stop staring.”

“But you look like you’re going to puke.”

“I am.”

“You can’t.

"Why not?”

“Cuz we’re next…”

“But…”

“5.4, 5.2, 5.1, 4.0…” I overheard the announcer. That was a horrible score.

“They’re out, it’s up to us, Alec. We can do this! You can do this.” Magnus encouraged me as my heart dropped into my stomach and I suddenly really felt myself wanting to throw up. I Inhaled and tried to give a nod, “We need to win to get in. This is our only chance to make it the Olympics. If we get anything lower than 5.5 we lose and the next couple after we win with my ex-partner and his new partner!” He explained to me. Geez, way to put more pressure on me.

“Our next couple to skate is Magnus Bane and his partner, Alec Lightwood. Alec is new to the ice, let’s see how well he will do for his partner!" 

Wow, even the announcer guy was trying to make me feel ridiculous. But this was it. I couldn’t mess up and I couldn’t back away. I didn’t look to Magnus either, I just went to the ice and into the middle. Magnus followed me and got into our positions. The instrumental to Unforgiven by Metallica started to play in its slow breathing taking melody as I made my very first move in skating right around Magnus and lifting him up only half and doing as I remembered from our routine. I didn’t think about anyone watching us and I didn’t think about being judged. To my surprise, it actually started to work and I felt myself becoming freer just like practice. I could feel myself actually not messing up but doing everything I could to Magnus to show him off while I skated my best. And not to brag about anything at all but our moves even felt so flawless like nothing could stop us on the ice. And then the next thing I knew with the last and final spin it was over and Magnus was instructing me back to the center of the ice for a bow but instead, we hugged, well I grabbed him into a hug...it's just that we did it...we really fucking did _that_. The crowd was roaring and the announcer began a speech but I couldn’t even hear it. 

_WATCH THE PERFORMANCE_   
( this performance is not actually them, obviously, but what I pictured the performance to look like and I hope it helps you visualize just how flawless they are together, I also put the Metallica, Unforgiven track over it too and it fits beautifully. I hope you can also picture them wearing hockey jerseys :-P   


Then it was time for our score, "5.5, 5.5, 5.4, 5.3…”

Magnus went and frowned as he looked at me, I guess that meant it wasn’t good enough. Shit. Fuck. 

“What!??! You’re joking, right? We didn’t win? We skated our asses off and we didn’t win?”

“Calm down, Alec.”

“Calm down? I did all this for nothing?”

“Excuse you.”

“Magnus, how can you be so calm about this, I know you wanted this just as much as I did…” I was so confused, why wasn’t he angry? He put me through all this damn hell and torture and he didn’t care about it anymore? _I know he did._

“I’ve just learned to deal with disappointment.” Magnus frowned at me.

I felt like crying. So now I was a _disappointment_? I didn’t _drop_ him, and I did everything perfectly and the stupid judges didn’t like it so I’m a _disappointment_? I wanted to scream now, fuck crying. This was just bullshit. I ran off and tried not to make any more of a scene. They had a TV set on the back to watch the last performance like I even gave a fuck. They were in and we weren’t so nothing else mattered to me anymore. Now I just wanted to go home and go and live a life back to where I was poor and only hockey mattered, fuck this figure skating bullshit...I was never meant to be one. Magnus used to me to win and we didn't. I just wanted to play hockey. I was happy about playing hockey. My life flashed before my eyes leading me back to when I almost had it all. I was skating down the ice, heading for the goal, this was the goal to win it all, I shoot to the puck, I can hear the crowd going wild, everyone thinks it's going to go in the net, I know it's going to right in but something hits me hard in the head and suddenly everything goes black...

I open my eyes in tears, the side of my head hurting where I got hit with the stick, my vision is blurry. 

"Alexander!!!" Magnus is calling me. 

What could he possibly want now? I swallow and notice the couple on the monitor not skating anymore and instead there just sitting on the ice trying to untangle their outfits or something...what did that mean? I knew what it meant but did it mean we were back in?

Fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> credit to Metallica's Unforgiven for the song used and credit to Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir at PyeongChang 2018 [performance](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wOEKdWrtz6U&t=292s).


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is a bit angsty, but i hope you're enjoying. thanks for reading, i love writing this. i can't wait to continue.

I looked to the screen in front of me and there was a replay to what just happened. The couple on the screen had a move almost like ours and then to my surprise one of them dropped, looking like they got caught on something from their costume - then sure enough, “It looks like their skate got caught on a button, causing this tragic malfunction. But this just means there is good news for our previous couple.” I laughed completely at myself for us to be wearing hockey jerseys now because that could have been us. It didn’t even occur to me that we were the previous couple that was now back in the competition.

“We’re in. We’re going to France!” Magnus shouted to me when I still hadn't turned around from looking up at the monitor. 

I sniffled back my tears and turned around with a small smirk to pretend like I wasn't crying. “Well duh, now aren’t you glad we wore this?” I asked him with a wink and pulled him into a hug. I hoped he didn’t mind.

But he hugged me back and he even squeezed me a little, “Thank you for everything, Alec. I’m sorry. I do care...I am really happy.”

I pulled back a bit from our embrace, I didn’t want to let go just yet. I looked at him softly, staring longingly into those gorgeous hazel eyes of his, and just gave him a small smile of mine. “I’m glad you’re happy, and I’m glad I made you happy. I’m glad I’ve gotten this opportunity. Oh and I’m also sorry if I said anything to offend you back there. I just, I want this so much, but the truth is…now with you in my life - I really only want it as long as you’re with me." 

Wow, what a bunch of cheese that was! Did I really just say all that? I made a bit of a face in hopes he didn’t think it was too corny, but all I got out of him was one of those Magnus-smirks. He then shook his head at me and pulled away from the embrace, "Well come on, let’s go and celebrate. I know just the place…" 

I wasn’t familiar at all with where Nationals actually was. All I knew is we were somewhere in California, and soon we’d be flying to France for the Olympics. Well, not all that soon because we still have small competitions to get us even more prepared for the gold. It wasn’t going to be easy. But we were in, so Magnus was right it was time party.

And when it was time party, for Magnus it was time party? I never saw this side of him as he had one drink after the other. It was if he watched me get drunk that night at his Christmas party. I kind of like this, but surely something was about to go wrong, I could just feel it as the time began to pass, and just how much Magnus began to drink and I didn’t stop him, because I was doing the same thing. But the question of the night was could I handle drunk Magnus?

It was another drink after another drink, shot after shot, weird moment after weird moment - when I finally realized it was time to take Magnus back to the hotel. I wasn’t being a party pooper or anything like that but this just wasn’t something I wanted to do tonight. I was happy that we won Nationals and it was time for the Olympics but I was not going to get wasted. I celebrated for what it was worth, I really didn’t have anyone to celebrate with either so maybe that was the reason why I wanted to end this quickly, but my main concern was how Magnus was acting. I knew this wasn’t like him. 

We got back to the hotel despite his kicking and screaming as he pounded my back to put him down. I managed to get inside the door, and I pretty much had to toss him onto the bed. He looked down at me, his mood so suddenly changing as I bent down to take off his shoes for him. "C'mere.” He murmured with his finger beckoning me.

I shook my head at him, letting his shoes drop to the floor with a loud thud. “No, you’re drunk.”

“So what!” He shouted at me. “I’m horny.”

I again shook my head and gave him a stern face, “No, Magnus. You need to get some rest.”

“No, I don’t, I need you.” He informed me trying to reach for me, but I was keeping my distance. I didn’t like this at all. I wanted him too, at least I really had thought I did at this point - but not like this. Not while he was drunk.

“Don’t you want me? You know you do. I’ve seen it all.” He insisted, and ugh I really thought I wasn’t obvious. 

Okay, except for that one time when he got me hard and it was pretty obvious. But no, I still kept my distance, not like this.

“Fuck, Alec what’s wrong with you. Take me!”

“What about Barry?” I asked him curiously, I needed to change the subject somehow. I didn’t hear anything about them breaking up anyway. From what I knew they were engaged?

“I thought you knew? He’s gone. Adios!” Magnus chirped trying to get me to come closer again.

“Oh.” I said, “…but no. Get some rest. I don’t want you, not like this anyway.”

“Ugh! You’re no fucking fun.” Magnus was getting really angry with me now. “I don’t need anyone telling me what to do, I’m not on the damn ice!”

“Magnus, you’re fucking drunk. Shut up. Get some rest, I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Will you stop telling me what to goddamn do? You’re so damn stupid! I am throwing myself at you!”

“I know you are, and I am telling you – you are drunk!”

“UGH THAT IS IT GET OUT!”

“Magnus, look–”

“NO, I SAID GET OUT!” He shouted pushing me now, I didn’t expect that so I quickly got up from the bed and looked down at him.

I wanted to explain even if I didn’t have anything to explain. “This isn’t fair, it doesn’t have to be like this.”

“I don’t care what the hell is fair, you are a moron, GET OUT!” He insisted.

I didn’t move, I felt kind of like I left him, I’d regret it. I didn’t want him to do something stupid. Even if he called me stupid, he was the one too drunk to function, he didn’t know what he wanted. 

“Just promise me, you’ll be okay!" 

"No I will not be okay, you asshole!" 

"And just why is that?”

“Because you’re still here, in my fucking life and you can’t even give me what I need!”

One minute he was throwing himself at me, and the next thing I know he’s going back to the Magnus I first met. I knew he was drunk, but goddamn that hurt. “Fuck you! From the moment I met you all have done was treat me like shit, and a night you get drunk I’m just supposed to drop everything and give you what you need…I’m sorry but I don’t fuck on the first date!” I just went ahead and said it. “You’re a lousy drunk!”

“GET OUT OF MY WAY!” He shoved past me and that was it - the last straw. He opened the door and pointed to the hall.

“No problem, I’ve been practicing that move for a year and a goddamn half!” I scoffed and I just turned away. I left him in his room walking so fast down the hall, I felt like I could cry, but I didn’t. I just began to walk faster to my room holding my breath.

“Alec?” Someone asked me just as I put the key-card to my door. I looked up to find someone I did not want to see. “I’m looking for Magnus, have you seen him?" 

"Room 212.” I answered his concerned look for his partner. Or well ex? I didn’t even know. Magnus might have just been too horny to give a shit about whatever happened between them and maybe they could work it out when he was sober. I didn’t have to know about it.

“Thanks.” He said to me and stepped away from me, I didn’t realize to after how close he was. I wanted to scream all of a sudden. 

Fuck. They were going to makeup and I was going to be all alone in my room thinking about them getting it on and that wasn’t the plan for the night. “Oh.” He said as he turned to me while he was walking back towards his room. “…was he drunk? Did he say anything about me?”

“Umm, he uh…yeah he’s drunk. And he said it was over between you two?" 

"He did?” Barry stopped walking and started to walk forward. “Did he sound mad?”

“Well, I mean he’s drunk and he was pretty much yelling at me for telling him to get some rest, I’d say he was, but not at you. But I mean maybe he is because you weren’t at the performance…why are you only at practice and never at the performances?” I started to babble and ask questions. I felt like kicking myself or banging my head against the door.

“I can’t bear to watch his performances. He’s not happy. It’s like he doesn’t love what he does and I absolutely hate that about him. It angers me so badly that I think it’s me…that I’m the one making him so goddamn unhappy. I don’t show up because I hope that just maybe he’ll smile and I can at least hear about it…”

Umm wow. I swallowed. I didn’t know what to say to that. We had something in common. “I know what you mean. I love the ice. I love everything about the damn ice, that even if I’m figuring skating at least it’s something. At least I can skate. He doesn’t like to skate. In fact I think it’s more like a chore for him.” I began…

“Exactly.” He said quickly agreeing. “I may not even like ice skating myself but I know a thing or two about being happy. I act because it makes me happy, and just seeing my boyfriend–I mean ex like this hurts…”

“Ex?” I frowned even though inside I was smiling. 

“I proposed to him. He told me that it was impossible to marry me because of the reason I just mentioned…I never go to his performances.”

I now just gave a nod, I didn’t know what to say really. I didn’t want to admit I was falling for Magnus even a second ago I swore I wasn’t. 

I really didn’t even think I could handle Magnus, especially if he was unhappy about his supposed passion for skating. “Do you, umm want to come in? I think I’m going to go to bed, but I mean if you want to talk a bit more or something, I could uh…”

“Yeah.” He said to interrupt me from babbling, and well fuck! I wasn’t serious damnit, I didn’t want him to come in. He was supposed to go see Magnus and makeup with him. I didn’t want him around me. I was really tired. I wanted to sleep. He stepped in behind me however and shut the door and right away made himself comfortable on the one queen-sized bed. Well damnit, so much for even sleeping. “Nice hotel room.”

“Umm, I guess. Do you want a drink or something?” I asked a stupid question, a really stupid one - like I was at home or something and the ironic thing was I wouldn’t ever serve someone like him…someone I absolutely hated for no real reason. Ha. 

“Nothing good is in the mini-bars, so no thanks, just relax man, take a seat, we’ll talk.” He said like it didn’t even matter that I wanted to go to sleep. I mean not that he knew I wanted to but didn’t I look tired? Geez. I took a seat though anyway. I even leaned back all the way to rest against my pillow. I figured I’d just fall asleep on him. He followed me and folded his arms over his stomach. Good. He wasn’t going to touch me or even think about doing anything me. That was a good thing, because yeah, it could get ugly. “Tired?” He asked me. 

“Yes. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to invite you in since I really just wanted to go to sleep.”

“It’s okay, if you don’t mind, I’ll stay for a little while and then let myself out?”

You know what, I would have said something really mean, like a who the fuck do you think you are type thing, but I didn’t. I just nodded, I was suddenly so tired and I just wanted this night to end already. I didn’t care anymore. I won a chance to go to the Olympics and skate for the gold. In the process I was falling in love with my partner when I swore I had no interest in him - despite what just happened too, it didn’t really matter anymore. If I couldn’t have him I couldn’t have him…

“Thank you, by the way.” He interrupted the closing of my eyes and drifting off.

“It’s not a problem. Just don’t touch me while I’m sleeping okay?”

“No, not that.”

“Oh?”

What the hell asshole?! I swear to god, if I wasn’t so tired…

“For putting up with Magnus, and you know taking his shit…and most of all for allowing me to see that he wants you and not me.”

Wait, what? What the fuck? Does Magnus want me? I didn’t know what to say besides, “Wait, what?” He said things tonight, but that didn’t mean a thing, he was drunk. And damnit, I was drifting off again, my body was giving away. I hadn’t sleep in a few days, I was so tired…everything went black, and that was it I was asleep…

I woke up to a pounding headache bright an early in the morning, but that wasn't the only pounding I heard, someone was banging on the door. I was about to get up and get it, I was on autopilot anyway but when I squinted to find out where I was exactly...I realized Barry had never left the room, and I was in just my boxers and I don't remember a single thing that happened. Barry was legit answering the door, "Barry?" Magnus questioned incredicously, "This is Alec's room...WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN ALEC'S ROOM?" His voice got so loud as he was pushing him out of the way and seeing me sitting there on the bed with just my boxers on. I don't think Barry saw it coming, I didn't even see it coming. "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?" 

"Calm down, Magnus, you are going to wake everyone on this floor." I said softly, I also had the worst hangover headache. "I fell asleep, nothing happened." That was the truth, so I just said it. I know nothing happened. I don't know how I got into my boxers, but I know I would never EVER get with Magnus' ex. He wasn't even my type.

"Oh that's a load of fucking shit, Barry will fuck anyone...he's only using me for my money...and my father promised him a lot of things if I won the gold..." Magnus just went on about this in anger and it was all brand new information to me. I remember what Barry had said about Magnus though, was that all a lie?

"Wait...that's not what Barry told me last night..." I looked over to find Barry but he was already out the door...WHAT AN ASSHOLE...he left? I cringed rubbing my temples before looking back up at an angry Magnus just glaring at me. "I swear to god nothing happened, Magnus. Why the fuck would I even want to?"

"You left me last night...and I find you two together...how do you think I'm supposed to feel?" He just repeated himself.

"You kicked me out!" I retorted, okay well technically I didn't want to fuck him when he was drunk but that's besides the point.

Magnus just rolled his eyes at me. What else was new? I swallowed and got myself up from the bed but he just ended up pushing me right back down. I don't know where he got that strength but I was kind of scared. "You're an idiot and I don't know what Barry said to you last night but if he even touched I swear to god I will beat him up." Something in that statement was soft and not the Magnus I knew...

"He didn't, in fact he talked about how he proposed and you said no because he doesn't go to your performances. He said he doesn't like to go because you aren't happy. He doesn't like to watch you do something that you aren't happy doing..." He mentioned trying to say it without looking directly into his eyes and somehow Magnus was straddling me and I didn't stop him from doing so, I even wrapped my arms around his small frame to hold him. 

Magnus shook his head a bit, leaning himself back in my embrace wrapped around him. "I'm not happy, I keep telling myself I am. But I'm not. I'm so fucking miserable." Wow way to just say all that just like that, I mean I knew that already...I figured. 

"Magnus, if you hate figure skating why are you doing it?" I asked, I needed to know. 

"Because of my mother, I'm doing it for my mother..." He confessed. "My mom wanted me to live out her legacy, she wanted me to achieve all of her goals, the goals she wanted to accomplish before cancer took over her body and she died. She said I need to make it to the Olympics...I couldn't bear to lie to her and tell her that although all I know is figure skating...I hate it...just because I'm good at it...doesn't mean I want to do it and when I'm the ice...I mean I think of my mom and I'm happy but I think of myself and I'm miserable and I just..." The tears that started to pour from Magnus' eyes were all over the place...I had never seen this side of him before nor did I know any of this. He never spoke of his mom and now I know why and now I can see why he's hurting so much. 

"Shh, shh," I gently put a finger to his lip to comfort him and my thumb gently wiped the tears that were falling from his face. My other arm was tightly wrapped around him wanting to bring him even closer but I don't think he was ready for that just yet. "Thank you for telling me that, it all does finally make sense now, but you know as much as you think your mom would be proud of you to win the gold at the Olympics, she would also be proud of you for just being you - she would love you just the same."

"How do you know?" Magnus sniffled. It wasn't like I really knew, but it was a mother and her child's bond right? She would love and be proud of her son no matter what.

"I don't really know, but it's instinct, you know your mother would love you no matter what, she sounds amazing..." I answered him softly.

"She was, she was so beautiful on the ice. I swore I wanted to take it on for her but I just...I did it with grace but nothing felt right...until you came along and I...I've been happier...I admit...just...I mean, fuck...nevermind." Magnus was slowly pulling away from me. Dear God, no. I wanted this. I needed this. I was falling so hard for him and he was trying to keep himself from me again right after he was just confessing things I needed to know because I wanted to fix it.

"Please don't pull away from me, Magnus," I begged, I really should have done that, I didn't want to seem desperate.

"Promise me something _Alexander_?" He raised an eyebrow and moved back to be closer to me.

"Anything," I whispered, my heart was beating out of my chest. Did he feel it? 

Fuck.

He did. He put his hand to my heart and he looked back up to me as he reached for my hand and he laced his fingers with mine. I was seeing stars again when I closed my eyes. I hope he didn't pick up on this. I swallowed when I heard him finally speak.

"Promise me you won't let me go...promise you won't leave me like everyone else..." He mumbled a bit, his head coming forward and resting it against mine, his lips touched my nose. I was seeing more stars and my body was on fire, I couldn't open them. If I did, I was going to kiss him.

"I promise." I breathed in and exhaled softly and the next thing I knew he was crawling off of me. "You love to play hockey right?" He then asked out of the blue, almost too random, completely changing the subject.

"I do. I live and breathe hockey...it's all I ever wish I was doing..." I answered him. 

Magnus just smirked, "I want you to teach me some..." He was backing out the door.

"If you got some anger you need to get out, it's perfect..." I answered back with a smirk.

"Exactly what it sounds like to me, a bunch of idiots like yourself just throwing around a puck and trying to slam into each other to get it away from each other so one doesn't score..." He said it so funny, not at all making sense of it but I knew what he meant.

"So you're calling me an idiot again I see?" I joked with him, I think he needed to hear the joke.

He chuckled before shaking his head, "You're the best idiot I know who is going to teach me how to play hockey soon as we head back home to practice for the Olympics...I hope you're ready." He winked and he was gone.

This was truly getting interesting. Did Magnus just flirt with me? Does he want me the way I want him? Too many questions but I was going to get to the bottom of this...


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had a lot of fun writing this chapter, despite not knowing much about hockey either. :P

The flight back to New York was kind of really long, longer than I had anticipated and that was probably because Magnus slept the entire time with a Xanax and I just tried to make me busy but nothing was working. There was so much on my mind, way too many things. Was I in fact in love with Magnus? Were we going to win the gold medal in the Olympics? We needed more moves, more ideas, and a new song to work with. What else did we have to do in order to get there actually? Did we still have to figure skate in other competitions...I really didn't know how this thing worked and I wanted to super prepared for it. I didn't want to let Magnus down, and that became my biggest fear of all...

It was officially a Monday, and I was pretty sure we didn't have to practice anything yet, but my body woke up at 5:30 am and I just decided to get up and head downstairs to the ice and see if Magnus was up too. We didn't make a date to play hockey just yet, we barely spoke since he took his Xanax on the plane, it really was hot and cold with him and I hoped to just catch him in a good mood. 

"You're late." He shouted from the ice as he was taking out his leg and stretching it, something I still hadn't really grasped as good as him. 

"I am not." I gave him a smirk as I was stepping onto the ice with my hockey skates instead of my figure skates and I even had a pair for him to put on.

Magnus giggled. _Yes._ I got him to giggle. I swallowed because it was so fucking cute and I was falling so damn hard. _Shit_. Was it obvious? My longing stare? I just shook my head a little instead and gave him a small nervous laugh back because honestly, I didn't know what he wanted. "You're adorable." He mumbled. He mumbled it but he said it.

"I'm what?" I blinked. 

"A-dor-able..." He pronounced it out taking the hockey skates from me. "Don't make me say it again, I already regret it." He winked and was backing up on me. "I presume these are for me to play hockey with you?" He took a seat down right on the ice and started to change into them.

"Yeah, I hope I got the right size for you." I just spoke softly wondering since when did he find me adorable? Usually, he called me an idiot or dumb even stupid. He called me stupid quite a lot actually and this was a great sudden change for me. 

I watched as Magnus stumbled to get up now that he had on some hockey skates. Now there was proof just how different they were. "How do they feel?" I almost wanted to laugh at the look I was getting, it was as if all of a sudden he had forgotten how to skate.

"They feel like the worst pair of ice skates I ever put on." He said moving forward to try and skate. 

"You got this," I laughed a little holding out my hands for him to forward. He stumbled once more but he didn't fall. He then let himself take both my hands and I started to skate backward and he followed me. "See, you got it, not so bad is it?"

Magnus made a slight face and let go of my hands to start skating on his own. He didn't look so graceful as he normally did but he still doing his thing. He must have forgotten he had no toe pick though because suddenly I saw him go straight down on the ice. 

"Oh my god, Magnus, are you okay?!" I skated right to him bending down to pick him up and he was laughing hysterically at himself. 

"How did that look? I bet you wished you took a picture." He sat on his ass and brought his knees up to coddle himself. "I feel ridiculous." He was already defeated.

"Toe pick." I smirked down at him moving in and kissed his forehead, "No, come on...we're doing this. We're going to play a game of hockey." I demanded as he looked up at me as if I was crazy, but he managed to get himself back up and when he did he stood tall and pressed a kiss to my forehead right back.

"I trust you," He whispered to me and gave me a little shove. I knew that meant I should go and get the hockey gear I left behind for this exact moment. 

I came right back with two sticks and a few pucks. "First things first, you need to know how to shoot..."

"That's a piece of cake," Magnus said with a smirk. 

"Oh yeah?" I asked throwing a puck down for him, "...go ahead." 

Magnus looked down at the puck and took aim to swing at it but the first time he missed, then the second time it went as far as a few inches in front of him. "Well then..." He looked completely shocked.

"Told you...it's kind of like figure skating...you have to balance yourself, stick your ass out just a little bit, and shoot!" I instructed going for it and the puck went right between his legs and to the other end of the rink. 

Magnus looked at me completely shocked, "How did you even get it in between my legs...I...." 

I laughed shaking my head and dropped another puck down for him, "You just have to do what I did." I instructed again.

Magnus did so, wiggling his ass a bit and trying to take aim and balance but instead it was a complete mess and he fell again. "No fair!!!" He pouted getting up and using the hockey stick for help because I was again too busy laughing at this. "You're having so much fun, aren't you. I deserve this, don't I?" He folded his arms across his chest dropping the hockey stick.

I picked it up for him with a small nod, "You aren't giving up though, I didn't give up." I reminded him with a little wink as I started to skate away from him to go and retrieve the puck I sent flying. I really hoped he was watching me because I really wanted to show him just how much this sport meant to me and just how good I was at it. I started to skate back dribbling the puck with my hockey stick in a quick like matter, I even picked up the puck with my stick and started to bounce it up and down on the stick before giving it a toss in the air for Magnus to catch. To my surprise he actually did and I gave him a little laugh.

"How did you do that?" He asked me incredulously. 

"You mean this?" I picked up a puck from the ice and just started to juggle it again against the stick. "I don't know," I shrugged. "I just started doing it one day. I can't really use it in a game but it's fun to do."

"Show me your best trick you are allowed to do in a game." He raised a brow looking very curious to me. 

I smiled softly and skated around him with a puck, I moved left, then right, then pretended to move left again but went right and shot the puck between his legs again. Magnus' entire face lit up on me again and I really loved that smile, god did I ever love that smile. I took a deep breath to control me from just his smile and then gave a shrug. 

"I can't get over how well you trick me," Magnus was giggling still, "I can see now why you love this sport, it's kind of really cool. Granted, it's not for me, but it's pretty cool." He swallowed again, I can see he was shocked at himself for admitting that to me. I laughed out loud and had to take the puck from him and just do my little fake-out again and again there was laughter coming from him. "Think I can do that?" He asked me curiously.

"Go for it, I think you can." I passed him the puck and he was doing really well, very well actually, I was shocked but then when he tried to shoot between my legs he totally missed and it hit my ice skate instead. I laughed at him shaking my head. He pouted at me and I had to shake my head again, "It's not your fault, I think you have a fear of the puck, you are treating it too nice..." I explained. "You have to pretend it's someone you absolutely hate...take aim...and let out all of your anger and I guarantee the puck will go flying."

"So you mean I just have to think of you?" He winked at me. 

"Ouch. My heart." I pouted at him. I knew he was joking from that wink but I still clenched my heart and pouted back at him.

"You are so stupid, absurd, really, really, absurd..." He was skating around me with the puck, doing a good job of dribbling it. I watched him until I couldn't, my blindside from my injury was preventing me. I swallowed trying to pretend I could see. I hated it when this happened. He didn't know about it yet or the entire story. I no longer could see him and by trying to concentrate...I wasn't able to more and I started to get dizzy...

Next thing I know Magnus is shooting the puck all the way across the rink through my legs. _He did it._

Magnus squealed and leaped in the air but fell flat on his butt, "Owwww!" He grabbed on to my leg to help himself up and all I could do was laugh and shake my head now that the dizzy feeling started to subside. 

"Who did you think of?" I asked curiously.

"Not who but what." He said softly, "Cancer." He then growled. "Stupid fucking cancer." He chanted as he skated quickly to go and get the puck back and tried to do what I was doing when I came back...at least he tried, but he wasn't looking where he was doing focusing too much on the puck, and by the time I was calling his name he had looked up and it was too late...we collided and fell flat on the ice together. Magnus was on top of me and his breathing was heavy. He was smiling and panting not saying a word. I couldn't breathe myself because the positon felt so right, my body was flat against the cold ice but I felt a fire burning inside of me. "Why didn't you stop me?" 

"I couldn't see you coming, I sometimes...I remember when the lights went out for me...everything goes black." I admitted. "I was dizzy when you went around my left side...I couldn't see you." He swallowed as Magnus fell a bit in between my legs, and didn't move still. 

"Tell me what happened." Magnus was inches from my face...inches!!! I breathed in and closed my eyes to tell the story, "I was going for the last goal of the night, I knew if I scored this one, we'd win...my entire team was relying on me. They knew I could do it. They had no fear. I had no fear. I was getting ready to shoot after faking out every single one of them...I shoot...it's about to go in...I know it goes in...but suddenly everything goes black..." I explained with a soft whimper because I was suddenly remembering the way it felt to be shoved against the wall so hard, the stick hitting me, and then me falling straight down to down on to the ice before everything going black. "They told me I was hit so hard it gave me a blindspot, I lost 19 pieces of my peripheral vision." Tears were beginning to fall from my eyes, I could feel them dripping down my cheeks but with the way Magnus was on top of me I couldn't move to wipe them but to my surprise, he was doing so. He was then leaning again, leaning, leaning, leaning as he stopped himself turning my head softly to kiss my left temple where I was hit. It was the sweetest most adorable thing anyone could have ever done. I truly swooned underneath him my body trembling. _He had to feel it._

Our eyes met, I murmured thank you to him before I sniffled, my hand was finally able to come up to touch his face, I wanted him to keep looking at me, and I think he felt it too, _I know he felt it too_ , as I moved in slowly to capture his lips but there was a loud yell coming from the stands, "MAGNUS BANE, ALEC LIGHTWOOD TO YOUR FEET RIGHT NOW!" His father screamed at us. _Goddamnit._ I couldn't believe it. Why now. We didn't owe a practice. We weren't told we had to do anything today. We made these plans to play hockey and just have a little bit of fun before more training.

Magnus obeyed almost instantly, getting up pretty fast leaving me to have to get up and follow. "Yes, father." He breathed in and reached for me. I didn't just see his father but I also saw Barry standing with him. _Oh dear god._ "What's he doing here?" Magnus said my thoughts out loud, thank god.

"Barry, here tells me you broke off the engagement...you know how good you two were, how you need him in order to help out your career..."

"Excuse me?!" Magnus shouted. I took a step back, I didn't want to get in the middle of this. I didn't know the truth.

"Barry just got the lead in a new movie, you two hand in hand will be great promotion for it." His father explained.

"I will do no such thing. Barry told Alec that he knows how miserable I am when I am on the ice and how much he hates to see me unhappy...I'm unhappy because I have to deal with this fucking bullshit. He doesn't care about me. He only cares about the money. I don't understand why he makes you speak for him..." Magnus was turning red, his anger was really taking a hold of him and I was honestly so proud of him for finally speaking up to his father.

"With all due respect, Magnus...I just want what is best for you. I love you. I just don't love who you are on the ice...but ever since Alec came along you've been better, you've been kinder, I even thought I had a chance with you - that's why I took up your father's offer to ask you to marry because I was getting jealous...I didn't like who you were with Alec...I wanted you to be mine and only mine..." Barry confessed and my mind was blown.

_Well fuck._

"I don't like Alec like that," Magnus answered and I fell back harder against the ice, I could have just skated away I didn't need to hear anything else. "...he just gets me, he understands how I skate, we just make sense on the ice, I...care...I mean...I care a lot about him..." He went and shrugged his shoulders a little and I bit the inside of my cheek to keep me from speaking because I did...it wasn't going to be anything good.

"I'm sorry, Asmodeus sir, but I can't marry Magnus, he's lying to himself. I can't use him either for my career to get better...we're too different...it just won't work." Barry was saying and I was so busy focusing on Magnus' reaction that I didn't even see Barry leave again after saying that. 

I swallowed in my own self-pity and turned to look at his father for what he was about to say.

"I didn't know how miserable you were,"

"Because you never bothered to care," Magnus wasn't shouting anymore, he was so defeated. I know he felt so used.

"I just wanted what was best for you," Asmodeus answered just as softly too.

"What's best for me is to let me do what I want," Magnus pointed to his chest and turned to look at me. He gave me a soft smile and a nod, and I just knew what he was going to say next. 

"What do you want?"

"It's not about what I want, it's actually about what I need..." He spoke up loud and clear and reached for me to take his hand so I did. "I _need_ to win the gold medal at the Olympic games with, my partner, but after that, I quit. I no longer what to ice skate." 

"Are you kidding me?" Asmodeus raised his voice and it startled me because I was still staring at Magnus and swooning over what he said even if he _didn't like me like that_...I was irrevocably in love with him.

 _Fuck_. I mean no I wasn't. 

"I said what I said, father, so please respect my wishes. You can find plenty of people to coach, you can move on from me and let me live my life the way I _need_ to." Magnus nodded to his father and squeezed my hand tighter. Did that mean he wanted me? _Needed me?_

His father gave a firm nod back, "I just need you to be happy, son. It's what your mom and I always wanted and needed. I'm sorry, very sorry, that I did all of this...I just wanted us to win and for us to look good...turns out...all we needed here was Alec..." Asmodeus gave him me a nod as well and I squeezed Magnus' hand so tightly because I was about to fall over.

"Good job on finding him, I don't know where I would be right now if it wasn't for his advice..." Magnus confessed just squeezing my hand even tighter. 

His father gave us both an apologetic look before letting us continue our game of hockey on the ice...or what was left of it because I think it was safe to say we're done for the rest of the day. After that moment where he was laying on top of me, it was all I could think about and I was afraid that I was going to be caught up in it to do anything else. Magnus agreed that we just call it a day already because he wanted to go and apologize to Barry for what his father was doing to him. He insisted that he at least owed him one. I was afraid they were going to end up back together, and it's not like I could exactly tell him not to. Maybe they needed each other in some way where he didn't need me. _He didn't like me like that_. I understood I was just his ice skating partner so if that was the case and I got him the gold, I got myself the gold too, and we could just both end up using each other and going on with our lives winning that million too...maybe money was better than love because right now I didn't want to be in love...

I went back to my room in Magnus' house and decided to just watch TV until I felt hungry or something. It wasn't until my phone rang that I realized I hadn't even turned on the TV yet I was thinking about Magnus and our moment...

"Hello?"

"Hey Alec, it's me," I knew that voice from anywhere, it was my ex.

"Hey, what's up?" 

"The dude that fucked you up on the ice that night, he found out you were ice skating so he started up ice skating too..."

"What the fuck." I said kind of dumbfoundedly.

"I thought you knew, but when he told me he saw you with his partner's ex-partner it was obvious you don't remember his face..."

"WAIT, A SECOND WHAT?" I froze standing there in my room. How was this even possible. Why was it even possible?

"Look, whatever you do just be careful out there okay, I know it's a bit to the Olympics but if he does anything to hurt you..." It was so sweet of my ex to still care about me like that. We didn't break up on bad terms or anything, we just grew apart but suddenly I felt like I really needed him. 

"He didn't make it, their score was actually horrible," I remembered correctly, but when I was back there thinking we lost...I think it meant that they got in too, and now we had to compete with them too. "Thanks, listen...I could really use your protection, I mean...I don't know...I'm just lonely...I miss you." Did I really just admit that?

Crap.

"What about the figure skater?" 

"It's a long story..."

"I'm coming over, you can tell me all about it..." And he hung up. 

It was about to be an even bigger story now that I knew this was happening.

Dare I even tell Magnus?

Should I even tell my ex everything?

I just needed Magnus! Damn, I hope he isn't with Barry still, if he is then I just I was going to regret everything I was about to unfold with my ex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ..i'm really sorry for the torture. i hope you don't hate me too much for what you think is about to happen. i think the real question is - who is the person that hit alec? :) feedback for your predictions and love for the story is always so great. thank you. <3


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's so fun to write this story, of course i wasn't going to let them do anything stupid. ;) i hope you enjoy this chapter as much as i did letting it all flow freely.

So I admit, I did have intentions of messing around with my ex-boyfriend but instead we just ended up talking all about Magnus. But it was probably the latter I couldn't shut up about him and he had to sit through it. I know I pissed him off because I pissed myself off. I really couldn't fuck anything up with Magnus even if in my mind I kept thinking about him making up with Barry and I would be alone again. 

"I think you need to tell him before it's too late," My ex said to me already knowing that I couldn't tell him - that it was already too late and that made me even more angry.

"You know he's making up with Barry, you know he said he doesn't like me like that so..." I whined and folded my arms across my chest. This was a stupid idea and now I just wanted to be left alone. 

"Then why are you even doing this? It's not to just win the gold medal and a million dollars - it's because you think by the end of all this he will fall in love with you and you two can live happily ever after...who wants to live alone with money and not be able to do anything? And who cares about gold? Why do you care so much? What's the big freakin' deal? What are you getting out of it huh? Tell me?" 

I looked at him blinking a couple of hundred times because - what? Why did he just ask me all those questions? Why did it matter to him? But wait a minute was he right because now I was wondering why I even cared so much about money and a gold medal? Maybe I just really was that much an asshole - maybe I just really all of a sudden loved to figure skate? No, actually it was in fact because I was so in love with Magnus that I couldn't even fuck my ex when I had the perfect opportunity to. "I don't know." I just breathed and sighed in defeat. "Fine, whatever, you win... I'm sorry I even invited you here in the first place." I was already trying to escort him to the door when there was a knock on it. "Oh shit." I said out loud.

"Alec?" Magnus' voice on the other end was soft and kind of vulnerable from just the way he said my name.

"Umm yeah, I kind of have someone over..." I don't know why I said that I hoped he didn't think I did anything. Not that it even mattered.

"Oh. Who is it?" He was opening the door and I was quick to hold it so he couldn't like creep all up in my room, I didn't need this right now.

"No one, what do you want?" Wow, I really wasn't trying to be a dick, I just didn't know how to handle what was going on right now.

"It's not a big deal," Magnus said sadly and was about to leave but I opened the door all the way for him and just made him come inside.

"Magnus, this is my ex." I just went ahead and introduced him. 

"Did you fuck him?" Magnus just raised an eyebrow at him. Well, if anyone was a dick right now it was definitely him.

My ex stifled a laugh and shook his head, "I tried, I really did...but all he did was talk about you." 

I gritted my teeth and jumped in before he could say anything else, "Actually he was just leaving... goodbye." He literally shoved him out the door and flipped him off and that was the end of that. I closed the door sheepishly and stayed holding on to the doorknob afraid of what Magnus would say about that. 

"You know what I want to do?" He asked me curiously. I guess it didn't matter or he just didn't care or he was simply trying to avoid it. 

"Hmm?" I was turning myself in for the night and didn't want to be bothered anymore. It felt like I was talking with my ex for hours and I hated talking about Magnus. It was made me feel so defeated because I got nothing in return and when I did get something - something always made it feel like he wanted nothing to do with me. 

"I want to continue my hockey lesson." He nodded firmly reaching and taking my hand in his. I looked down and tried not to let the sparks flying up my arm make me pull away. I wonder if he felt it too. I felt him jump a little but maybe I was just imaging it. 

"Really? Why?" I asked as I just decided to lead the way down to the ice rink if that's what he wanted to do and well I would do anything for him despite what I just said. I rolled my eyes at myself when he wasn't looking because he was already ahead of me pulling me to lead the way because I guess he realllllly wanted to play. 

"Because it made you really happy and I learned a lot and I want to pretend the puck is Barry." He said really fast - as fast - as he was running now and I was running after him when our hands let go. 

"WAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIT, you have to tell me everything that happened," I shouted out and caught up as we were both just instantly hooking up our hockey skates that we left there on the rink. 

"...to make a really long story short...he didn't want to take me back because I asked you know like what if we just tried again despite our differences thing you know? I wanted to like him, I really did like him. We weren't in love but we loved each other a lot but I guess he didn't love me like I thought he did...he just decided that no - I wasn't worth it. Literally told me that I wasn't worth it. That I would only make a damper on his career instead of boosting his career because on the ice apparently no one likes me..." Magnus' voice was cracking as he was speaking to me and the only thing I wanted to do was hug him and just tell him it would be alright. I didn't know if it would be, I actually was very confused but what did I truly know? 

"You are a diva on the ice, it was so hard to work with you in the beginning but that doesn't give him the right to treat you like that," Is what I said to try and be rational. "We completely owned everyone up there, and you had so many applauses...I'm sure their minds are changed now that you have me as your partner." I was half joking, I was just a dick on the ice too...after all, I was the best player there ever was on that ice. That was why I was knocked out in the first place... 

Magnus shook his head at me with a pout. It was a mean one. He even rolled his eyes. I guess he didn't like that answer and he started to skate away from me. I went after him and he went around me and we started to race down the ice. I knew how to stop in my hockey skates, I knew he didn't so I stopped short and shaved ice all over him as he went right down onto the ground. 

"You are absolutely absurd!" He shouted his famous insult at me. "You are so dumb, such an idiot, oh my god, I hate you!" He rubbed his butt trying to get up gracefully like he could in his figure skates because of the toe pick but it wasn't working for him. 

I eventually helped him and allowed him to catch his balance and I just came out with word vomit, "Did you even hear what my ex told you? How all I did was talk about you? Do you even care?" 

"Of course I care, but I'm sure it was all about how much you hate me so I rather not get into it...I just want to shoot the puck angrily until you ever so rudely interrupted me with your fancy shaved ice trick." He growled at me. 

"Actually, Magnus it was all about how much I don't hate you and how happy I am to be doing all of this with you and I can't believe I am even admitting that to you right now." I shook my head at myself in disbelief why was I just deciding to come out with it now? He was obviously dealing with something. 

He looked up to me after finally finding the puck, "Now where is the stick thing that I shoot this with?" He sounded like me when I kept calling his ice-skating terms weird names. 

"It's just a simple hockey stick, and it's where we left it..." I pointed out to the ice and followed him, I wanted an answer. 

"I don't hate you either, Alexander. In fact, you're the reason why I want this now more than anything...I guess I was trying to run from it too." He admitted but I didn't really know what that meant. 

I raised an eyebrow to him as he was gearing himself up to hit the hockey puck with the stick but I stopped him from doing it. "Then why do you always have to call me all those horrible names like an idiot, stupid, and your favorite, absurd!" 

"Because you are!" Magnus took the aim of the puck and shot it right between my legs. 

Both our faces went into shock, "But oh my god the best idiot there is because I did it...you taught me how to do it and I did it!" He was excited as he skated around me to retrive the puck and I quickly turned around to find him again. 

"You did that all on your own. You must really hate him." I gave him a slight wink as he was skating back towards me and stopped short to look right up at me. 

"I promise I won't call you any more names you big baby." He took my hands and made me skate with him. "I really do want to be the best that I can with you before I give it all up and I want you to find yourself as well once we win this together." He mentioned to me bringing me around him so his ass was in my crotch again. My body froze and I stopped us in the middle of the ice. He really shouldn't be flirting with me like this not if he was going to be a tease and change his mood in just a few seconds. 

I swallowed, my chin resting on his shoulder. "I still hope that I can play hockey...it's just never going to be in my future...it's too risky... I could blackout again. My vision really is fucked up." I frowned. 

"It's kind of crazy how you can do such amazing things with me as you figure skate yet you can't shoot a puck or skate down the ice because of a blindside." Magnus frowned to turning around to face me again as he stood in the middle of the ice still. His hands came up to cup my face and I breathed in a sigh. "Lift me up." He whispered. 

I obeyed even if I was afraid to do it on hockey skates, but I did it anyway. He was so light to me, he was an angel, a beautiful angel sent here for me to fall in love with and I held him as high as I could as he freely leaned himself down to jump out of my arms and go for a graceful landing...well...I think he forgot about his toe pick because he stumbled and did one of those _I meant to do that_ kind of face and the next thing I knew I was catching him like he purposely was stumbling into my arms. We ended up falling down onto the ice again, me on my back again, and I suddenly remembered something. "I just remembered, my ex told me that the dude that caused my injury is skating with your ex-partner." 

"What!" Magnus shouted as we ended up fumbling against the ice even further just like the last time. I let him stay there to fall in between my legs, and I just gripped his shirt. 

"Yeah, he must be out to get me or something, I don't know really..." I answered him trying not to let myself think about anything else because with Magnus on top of me like this so I felt so safe. _The safest._

"My ex-partner dropped me all the time, and even on purpose. Granted I was a dick to him and I deserved it but that's not what this is about... he and I talked a lot about some things..." Magnus swallowed and I could feel his heart beating out of his chest matching mine. "Alexander, his fiance was a hockey player, and he was always making fun of him for doing what he did...what if...it's him..." He mumbled and he was literally shaking against me. 

"It just might be. And you know what I'm not scared." I said with confidence although I was terrified. "I mean...I'm terrified of him because I don't even know what he looks like and he's the one that caused my injury and the sole reason why I can't play hockey and now he's invading your sport but I doubt he's any good..." I tried to make sense of this.

"But, what if he sabotages us somehow or some way before we go on the ice?" Magnus was starting to think the worst, we couldn't have that during this time not when we were so close to reaching for our gold medals.

"I won't let that happen. He did what he did for a reason and I'm going to get to the bottom of it." I decided not at all knowing what I was I was getting myself into but with what I knew now it was really kind of starting to make sense... _he was jealous of me_.

"I trust you, I never trusted my ex-partner. I can't believe this is happening between us...what us meeting like we did and you become such an amazing figure-skater was all apart of his plan to..." Magnus shook his head and just started laughing as he rolled off of me and fell flat on the ice to look up at the ceiling. 

"Please don't talk about fate, I don't know how or what or where I am supposed to be once this is all over..." I hated that Magnus broke contact. "Do you think we'll still be friends once this is all over?" I asked curiously, I guess just to just change the subject. I really had a fear that once we both won...we'd would never speak to each other again...all thanks to my ex and him making me realize just how in love I was with him and just how stupid I was for thinking that I could just live a life without him after we won and that was even if we won.

"Yeah, of course. I can see us calling each other up and talking about the things that have been happening in our lives...I get to find myself...and you maybe you could teach hockey or something or find a way to play you know? I still think you're an amazing player - screw what the doctors say." Magnus smirked and poked me as he was getting himself up to sit Indian style on the ice.

"I hope." I laughed a little uneasily. I just made him a face and copied him sitting up myself. I didn't know what we were going to be doing now, it was getting late and I was starving. 

Magnus read my mind and we ended up going to McDonald's. He ordered his chicken nuggets and I decided I wanted them too. We ended up sharing two 20 pieces before we both just called it a night all together and things weren't too weird between us but I wouldn't say it was 100% okay. He was still as cold as he was hot to me... 

And, just like that, we were faced with a challenge...not that we couldn't do it...we were so ready for it...to skate that is... 

We had been practicing every day since our little game of hockey. I feel like it brought out a lot of confidence in Magnus and it made him keep wanting me to lift him and allow him to be thrown so he could land perfectly. We created a figure-skating-move that I don't think anyone had ever done in figure-skating either, and that's where the challenge arrived. We had a competition to do that was solely for fun but at the same time to prepare us for the Olympics. And we did a few them even in between this one coming up but this one was an important one because it was the one before the actual Olympics itself so it had to really count to show everyone what we were made of as a figure skating couple. 

We together decided on doing Metallica's "Unforgiven II" for the song and wearing something very simple and elegant for the both of us to shine, but especially Magnus because he was going to be the star of the show and I just had to toss him in the air. Of course, we learned to be some things in sync, especially with how it fits so perfectly with the song. It was a continuation of what got us to win Nationals so for us was all entirely too perfect and even the lyrics had meaning to us. 

We didn't talk much about things like we were, we just learned from each other and focused so hard on our competitions that although my fire for him still burned so deep and passionately - just seeing him on the ice actually happy because of me was all that I needed... 

_Lay beside me and tell me what they've done  
And speak the words I wanna hear to make my demons run  
The door is locked now but it's open if you're true  
If you can understand the me then I can understand the you  
Lay beside me, under wicked sky  
Through black of day, dark of night, we share this, paralyzed  
The door cracks open but there's no sun shining through  
Black heart scarring darker still but there's no sun shining through  
No there's no sun shining through, no there's no sun shining_  
  


  
  
_What I've felt, what I've known  
Turn the pages, turn the stone  
Behind the door, should I open it for you?  
Yeah, what I've felt, what I've known  
Sick and tired, I stand alone  
Could you be there  
'Cause I'm the one who waits for you  
Or are you unforgiven too?  
Come lay beside me,… this won't hurt, I swear  
She loves me not, she loves me still, but she'll never love again  
She lay beside me but she'll be there when I'm gone  
Black heart scarring darker still, yes, she'll be there when I'm gone  
Yes, she'll be there when I'm gone  
Dead sure she'll be there...  
What I've felt, what I've known  
Turn the pages, turn the stone  
Behind the door, should I open it for you?_

_Wow, these two really have shown just how special on the ice together. Alec Lightwood, a hockey player turned figure skater really knows how to handle thee, Magnus Bane. They have truly captured what figure skating is all about. Their flawless performance tonight is proof they deserve that number one spot at the Olympics. We cannot wait to see what they have in store for us. More than likely they will finish it all off with Metallica's Unforgiven III and prove to everyone that anyone can accomplish their dreams in what seems to an actual love story. Real or not these two have such amazing chemistry on the ice. Thank you, Alec and Magnus, for your beautiful astonishing performance tonight..._

**6.0, 5.9, 6.0, 6.0, 6.0...**

_Holy shit, an almost perfect score._ I felt Magnus leaping into my arms as it was over, I caught him and spun him around and the audience was awwing, if only they knew Magnus would never love me the way I was so in love with him... 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the actual couple that inspired this reutine for magnus and alec to skate to is [Alexa Scimeca Knierim & Chris Knierim - My Heart Will Go On]() \- i really do love putting Metallica's music over figure skating couples but it fits completely to me and i'm just envisioning alec and magnus so i truly hope you can do too.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> t/w: minor violence, don't want to give anything away.

I can't even describe it. It's all happening so fast for me. I'm falling head over heels in love with Magnus Bane and I still don't know how he feels about me. I had the perfect opportunity to tell him a few times but each time something always seemed to come our way and interrupt us. I also took that as a sign because just maybe I wasn't supposed to know yet? Maybe he wasn't ready to say it back but how I would ever know if I never said it. I also didn't want to ruin what we had as a figure skating couple. And let's not forget all the name-calling as well as when he said he didn't like me like that to his father. 

Magnus and I were sitting on the couch in his massive living room with his huge TV and a fireplace was roaring underneath it. It was the most romantic feeling and the way he was laying on me without a care in the world had my heart in my stomach as it swarmed with all these butterflies. I could have sworn my stomach was rumbling as he literally laid in my crotch and allowed me to play with his hair. I couldn't stop my fingers tangling through his hair, gently tugging and massaging his head. He didn't tell me to stop either. It just came so naturally and he was enjoying every second of it. For a second I think he had even fallen asleep until he jumped slightly because he didn't want to fall asleep on my lap. I laughed a little as he was slowly bringing himself to my shoulder as he nuzzled on my neck. It sent literal shivers down my spine. I didn't know if I should move or turn my head. I swallowed instead and said something stupid, "Did you fall asleep?"

"Almost." He answered with a little smile of his. His nose was now pressing to my jaw, "I love watching other couple's skate, I really want to try that one move..." 

I turned to look at him, I knew exactly what move he was talking about. It looked so hard and so unreal. I don't know the couple even did it. I swallowed again and I know he saw it this time. "I'm afraid we'll fuck it up...well not so much you...you're graceful...but what if I drop you?"

"I trust you." Magnus answered bringing his hand up to cup my cheek, "Maybe I wouldn't of in the beginning..." He snickered, his lips were literally on my cheek now. I don't know what he was trying to do. He was subtlely flirting with me and I couldn't even ask what it meant. This is the kind of weird spell he on me or something, it was just Magnus being Magnus and I wasn't all sure how to react. 

"The thing is," I began pulling a little bit away from him just so I could gain my composure and not take him right up against the couch like my body wanted to. "...nevermind." I couldn't even say it.

"What? Come on, Alec, please?" Magnus moved forward to lay against me again, this time he took his hand in mine and laid against my chest. 

"I want to do it. I want to practice every single second until we do it flawlessly." I answered him and put my chin on his head, giving him a soft squeeze. 

Magnus murmured, I hope he enjoyed that little extra squeeze. He looked up to me, "It's just a triple twist, but you have to toss me, let me do the rest." He said as if it would be that easy. 

"Oh right because a triple twist is oh so easy?" I shook my head making him a face when he looked up at me like that.

"Alexander, come on..." He scrunched his nose at me.

"You've caught me after all my triple twists, what makes you think you can't allow me to land it on my own? That's on me. You have to trust me." He informed me and of course, I trusted him. I was just afraid he could fall. Shouldn't I be afraid?

"I just don't want you to hurt yourself..." I reminded him with a soft smile.

"We just have to keep doing it until I get it right. I won't hurt myself." He sounded so confident. I had to just let him continue to feel that way. I of course needed the confidence to allow myself to toss him like he wants me to, but we have to get it perfect. He also seems to forget that I only just started figuring skating...he's been doing it for years...YEARS! Can't I just play hockey again? Oh right, stop it thoughts...you're not allowed to play hockey because you can't see anyone on your left. Damnit. "You okay?" He poked me suddenly ridding me of my stupid thoughts.

I swallowed, "Yeah, I'm good..." I closed my eyes and just didn't want talk about it or what ideas we had for the Olympics anymore because now I was the tired one. I don't how long we were watching these videos or how long he had been resting in my lap. It all felt so natural and my body was still a bit trembling from all the thoughts I had about him and potentially being together-together and just this figure skating couple...

\--

So we started practising a few days later, we were doing okay for what we wanted to do? I mean? It's hard to explain. I wasn't dropping him and he wasn't falling but he wasn't landing correctly. I really thought he could do it like he said he would. And when his father would scream at us to keep doing it...do it until we got it right every single day for the next 2 weeks...I finally had enough when Magnus wasn't landing right. I could see it in his face and all the disappointments he had for himself. And it sucked. It sucked so so much because I hated seeing him disappointed. This wasn't even his dream. This wasn't what he wanted to do for the rest of his life yet he was still determined to land this move with no interest in ever doing it again the Olympics. I sighed. I was done and I knew he was. If I tossed him one more time he was literally just going to fall flat on his face.

...but his father made us do it, and I swear for just that one second that I took him, lifted him and let him do his triple twist, catch him and throw him again in the air so he could do one of his own and land...he fucking did it! He did it! He landed it so flawlessly like he wasn't just stumbling those couple hundred times that I swore we did this.

"Alexander!" He shouted my name so damn excited, I did nothing but change it up real quick in my head. "What did you just do? It was like you had an idea and you...you gave the courage..."

"That was all you, Magnus." I smiled at him and he was insisting it was me and my idea but all I did was give a little bit of a boost.

His father came down from where he always stood to direct us what to do and was clapping. I don't think he was more proud at his son then he was now. "Practice makes perfect." He nodded to both of us and took us both into a hug. I sighed happily, I was done practising for now. I needed a break. I needed to clear my head because all of the thoughts started to creep up on me again.

Magnus and his father allowed me to be alone a bit on the rink. I grabbed my hockey stick and my puck and put a goal out to just take some shots. I even tried to be fancy in my skates since I didn't take off the figure skates. I laughed to myself and eventually just did some figure skating moves. I could only do a double axel so I tried to go for a triple. Nope. I fell on my ass. It was okay...I tried again...nope. I sighed and did the double twice! One right after the other and yet I couldn't make it into a triple? 

"So you really are a horrible figure skater...you can't even do a triple axel?" This familiar voice said to me out of nowhere. I thought it was in my head. I turned around quick to see him coming forward...it...it wasn't...no fucking way. No. No. No. How did he even find me or be allowed in? He was always a sneak. I held on tight to my hockey stick to keep me from falling. "I had to go out of my way to come here, noticed the door was open whoever left it open will probably regret that." He smirked at me and I suddenly wanted to throw up. 

"Um." I couldn't even speak. 

"Did that shove damage your brain cells too? I mean I got my wish for you to get away from playing hockey, I love that it was ruled as an accident too so no one questioned it after it happened and your surgery went well..." He was the most horrible person I ever knew...I didn't want to know him! I wanted to call for help but I was frozen.

"What do you want?" I finally spoke. He already ruined my pride, my ability to play hockey...what else could he take from me?

"I want you to drop Magnus in the competition." He said with such evil in his voice, I was scared now.

"Not going to happen." I nodded firmly. Wow. Did I really just do that?

"You do not understand, he is a disgrace to figure skating. He ruined my husband's career. Made him look like an asshole...just like how you made me look second best on the ice...I was the best player until you got transferred to my team..." 

"That's what all this is about? Jealously? You hit me so hard I fell and was never able to play hockey again!" I shouted. 

"Yeah...and then I find you ice skating? You were supposed to just quit. The irony in all this is really some kind of fate? But I am here to make it stop. You will let me and husband win the Olympics or else..." 

"Or else what?" Why did I say that. Dear god, why did I say that. 

"You don't want to know." He snickered at me so evilly. 

"Well, it's a no...I love him. I am not going to drop him all because of sore losers..." I wanted to say so much more like how he was invading figure skating...he didn't belong here. He didn't belong anywhere. And if he wanted it that much he should just practice. We wanted to win the gold, but if we didn't, I don't think it was going to matter anymore anyway. Any medal even bronze would have been fine...we were going to leave each other after this was all over. But he didn't need to know that. 

"You love him?" He raised his eyebrow at me with a huge stifle of a laugh. "You love that pathetic idiot? Do you not realize how much he hates what he's doing? He's using you." WHAT DID HE KNOW? Why was he semi right? How did he know? 

Fuck.

"How do you know that?" I swallowed.

"It's just obvious. Magnus Bane is not appreciated on the ice...it wasn't until you came along that everyone started to like him again..."

"So? You're jealous." I sighed loudly.

"I can't have you be number one at something," He said firmly and I was so scared suddenly, the look he had, what I saw him doing and the next thing I knew I was hitting the ice and everything went black...

\-------Magnus' POV-------

When Alec didn't come back to his room, yeah, I was waiting for him, I started to get worried. I wanted to tell him what a good job he was doing despite what he thought. I made my way back down to the ice skating rink that was supposed to have security because none of this would have happened. It must have been my mistake to leave the door open like that for someone to come right in and do this.

Ugh.

When I found Alexander on the ice, laying there motionless my entire mind and body went into complete shock. I screamed but I don't think it was loud enough. It was more internal than anything. "Alexander?" I went to my knees to see if he was okay. I could see him breathing, but he wasn't answering me. "Alexander, please..." I begged and what was the supposed to do? Was he hurt? Could I lift him and take him to the hospital? I reached for the phone to call my dad and shakily told him that Alexander was passed out on the ice and we needed to get him to the hospital. I can't believe I actually started crying. 

"Magnus?" He mumbled under his breath barely audible but thank god he was alive.

"I'm here, shhh." I didn't want him to speak. I would get down the bottom all of this later.

"My ankle." He whimpered. Oh dear god out of all things to be hurt it would be his ankle and stop him from skating!

"Did you fall?" I shouldn't have asked that. It didn't matter to me. Actually, I guess it did matter because how would we skate?!

Alexander shook his head at me, "...but I was hit so hard I blacked out." He mumbled.

SOMEONE HIT HIM? 

FUCK.

SHIT.

WHO.

"Alexander? WHO HIT YOU?" My voice was so loud and scared this was like literally my biggest fear.

"It was _him_." I knew exactly who he was talking about. It was what we both feared. I wanted to ask him to keep talking but he was blacking out again and I maybe thought he was just imagining it while playing hockey and he fell on accident, but what took my father so long to come down was because he saw someone come in through the door we left unlocked and then actually knocked out the security camera we had on the ice. I couldn't believe it! This wasn't happening.

My father and I were waiting in the waiting room for Alexander to come out and I just hoped it was all going to be okay. I really had no other choice. I didn't want anything to happen to him. But I was debating in my head if I just wanted him to be okay so we could skate and win the gold or the fact that I really cared about him that he was hurt and I wasn't able to be there for him. Why did he get in my head like this? 

"You're not upset because he probably won't be able to be in the Olympics with you...you're upset because you actually like and care about him." My father said out loud my exact thoughts.

"You're absurd. I could never ever fall in love with a hockey player...are you kidding?" I said out in defense. 

"You're thinking so hard about it, I'm your father Magnus. Just because you loved your mother more and did everything she did, doesn't mean I didn't follow you and appreciate you too and now how you work...and I didn't say "love"...I said like...so..." He nudged me as he spoke and I swear I wanted to scream at him but this wasn't the time. 

"Shutup." I said rather loudly anyway and folded my arms across my chest.

I hated Alexander for being so damn cute...not exactly cute but like really sexy too. He was my type no matter how much I would never admit that. He just had this really pretty face and tall body. He was strong and masculine and could lift me higher than all my partners on the ice. But no, I didn't like him like that. We were too opposite. I shook my head at the thoughts because why was I thinking about this now? He was hurt. Shit. He was hurt. But why wasn't my father upset this might make us not be able to perform in the Olympics or the fact that security camera was damaged... 

"What are we going to do about the security camera? Why aren't you as upset about this as I am?" I asked what I was thinking, taking a deep breath.

"I got it all under control. I know it's not as important to you to win the gold as it is to know if Alec is going to be okay," My father literally fucking smirked at me and patted my head like he _knew_ me as he said...he could not be more wrong! _He was right though._

"SHUTUP!" I said it again this time louder as I saw Alexander coming out in a wheelchair. My heart dropped in my chest.

"Well, I've got good news and bad news." The doctor said behind him.

Alexander was looking at me and we just stared at each other. I really really hated him. I rolled my eyes because he shrugged at me. How could he be fine about this too?

"The good news his - it's not broken - just very badly sprained..."

"Tell them what you told me!" Alexander shouted up at the doctor. 

"I don't think it'll be healed in time for you to perform at the Olympics." He said exactly what I knew he would say.

"Thanks," I said sadly, defeated, and I just got myself up from the chair and walked out. Yeah, just like that. I did that quite a few times to him. He was used to it. I honestly didn't know what I was supposed to feel or what I was to do. We both had plans for after it winning whatever medal we got...

Was this apart of the plan?

I couldn't figure out why he came into my life the way he did. Get me as far as I did. Give my career the boost I needed and now I couldn't do the one thing I wanted to do for my mother. I would never make her happy now. This was all Alexander's fault. Or maybe it was mine? Maybe it wasn't anyone's fault but the two people who just didn't want us to win...

And what about us? What if I didn't want to go separate ways after this was over? Everything was cut short now...maybe he was just going to go home now...

\-----------

Like hell, I was going to go home! Maybe I wasn't going to be able to skate, but my life was here now with Magnus whether he liked it or not. When I arrived back at his house, his father and I were having a talk while he was having a breakdown in his room. It was best we left him there for a bit.

"The doc said I might not be able to skate, so if I just stay off my foot, maybe in a few weeks we can try again?" I suggested with a small shrug. 

"Yes, that is what we will do but ONLY if you feel up to it, especially now with everything else you two have to worry about," Asmodeus mentioned to me reminding me of the fact that oh yeah, I fell down and blacked out again from the same person.

"To be honest, I don't even feel too threatened. He can't actually hurt me -- number one, and number two he isn't good on the ice like at all...Magnus and I are still better than him and his husband who is Magnus' ex-partner." I explained.

"Yeah, see this is where I have to tell you to be careful about Magnus' ex-partner. You see, he wasn't very nice to my son, I never saw it other than him just wanting to win the gold as you do...but you took care of Magnus. You showed him what it was like to be loved on the ice...all his ex-partner did was try to make himself look good without giving my son what he needed and that is why I thought Magnus hated what he was doing. After that, he was just so hard to work with because everyone just wanted a piece of him to win because despite his attitude he is an excellent skater...no matter how much he hates it." He sighed softly and was honestly sad about the whole thing and well I understood his pain there. 

"I am glad I was the partner that stuck, despite him hating me in the beginning. You actually liked when I dropped him because he did deserve that but it was out of love then and what I do now is all out of love to. Everything I've been doing is out of love for your son." I admitted to him and I just hoped he didn't hate me for this. 

"I want you to go upstairs to Magnus' room and let him know that," Was what he said instead and dear god now even he knew I was in love with Magnus.

"I can't possibly, not right now, not like this." He shook my wheelchair and made a face grumbling.

"Well, you can go up there and at least try to cheer him up," He suggested and I just gave him a nod.

"One question though, how am I supposed to get up the stairs..." He half laughed mocking myself and this stupid wheelchair that I was in.

"There's an elevator to the left of the stairs." He said to me as if I knew that. I still wasn't used to living this kind of rich lifestyle so I laughed to myself...the first thing I wanted was an elevator in my new house that I would win with. Here I was still thinking like I could actually perform at the Olympics. 

I made my way up, wheeling myself right into Magnus' door. I meant to knock but my wheel hit it first. "Go away," He pouted. I could literally hear it.

"No, let me in please?" I pouted myself so he would. I know he couldn't resist it actually. I heard him scoff the word _fine_ before opening the door and he greeted me such a fake cheesy smile. "Oh Magnus, you're so cute when you're mad at me." I stuck out my tongue and moved on inside of his room with my wheelchair.

He folded his arms across his chest and took a seat on his windowsill ledge. "You're ridiculous." 

"And?" I shrugged, I was just glad he didn't call me any of the other names.

"I don't understand how you're okay with this...you are just laughing about it and acting like it's nothing..." He insisted on me.

"I'm not okay with it, I'm just trying to make the best of it. To be honest, even if what happened was the sneakiest and the dumbest way to get me to want to quit again...I won't let it happen..." I swore up and down that this injury would not stop me from performing with Magnus.

"You really think we have a shot?" He sighed softly. I watched as his shoulders fell down to relax and leaned back. 

"Mhm, if we just keep me off my feet and you wait on me hand and foot - I should be back to my walking self in no time." I winked at him.

"There will be no such thing!" He said folding his arms across his chest again.

"I was kidding," I frowned, I kind of thought he would but I had too high of hopes.

"Yeah, no you weren't." He winked back at me and got himself up to crawl into my lap like it was nothing. Dear god, I really hated when he did this. 

"You really like being on my lap." I tilted my head back to keep myself from the need to look into his eyes but he was quick to bring his hands to my cheeks and make me do it. _How dare he._

"I want to show you something," He whispered as he placing a kiss to my forehead. "Turn us around to the left," He instructed. I obeyed turning the wheelchair to the left of his room. There I found an easel. "I hope you like it." Magnus then said to me as he was pulling off the sheet that was on it. What he revealed to me was a drawing of me. _ME._ A drawing of me! 

"Magnus...I...what in the world...what is this?" I mean I knew what it was, I was just speechless. It was so detailed. It was me with a hockey jersey on sitting down looking at something or someone...

"I drew it, I drew it a few days after we met. I couldn't get you out of my head, everywhere I looked I saw your face so I just drew it." He confessed to me like it was nothing like he wasn't hiding this all this time and the fact that he didn't _like-like_ like that? 

"It's beautiful." I just, I didn't know what to say. Damnit.

"You're beautiful." Magnus touched my face again making me turn to look at him. What was this supposed to mean? Everything in my heart was telling me to go for it and kiss him, just lean in and press my lips to his. I stalled though, I don't know why I stalled and if only I did a second later...

He was slipping out of my lap and I fell limp. I loved it. I needed him back. "Thank you," I mumbled. He must have wanted me to do it but I waited too long.

"Thank _you_ ,;" He mumbled back.

"But wait, Magnus... so you like to draw?" I asked him curiously because suddenly I realized that he had another talent and he wasn't putting it to use.

"Yeah, I mean I just know how..." He shrugged.

"But do you love it more than ice skating?" I asked him so curious for his answer I was tugging him back down in my lap. 

Thank god I did that because he was instantly straddling me again, I just loved when he did that, it felt like it was the only position he was comfortable in too. "Yeah, but my mom wouldn't like me being an artist..." He mumbled resting his arms around my shoulders.

"You kept telling yourself that but I doubt it's true...I told you, you know she only wants you to be happy." I reminded him.

"Stop being right." Magnus pouted at me. "Maybe, I'm just scared I'm not good enough. What if my father doesn't like that I draw really well?"

"You have to do what you want Magnus!" I raised my voice. "Remember what we talked about? Come on." He poked both of his sides as he squirmed and even let out a giggle. It was the cutest damn giggle in the world. I needed more of it so I started to tickle him a little bit.

"Hey now, non of that." He brushed my hands away and instead locked them in his and brought it up to our chests as he leaned forward on me. _Not again._ I took a deep breath and opened my mouth slightly. "You're right...I'll talk to him...I don't know...hey there's this art museum that I have been looking forward to opening and they said that they might showcase one of my paintings...do you want to go with me?" 

I couldn't say no. I didn't know anything about art other than Magnus was art. And well, I was in a wheelchair now with no place to go so yeah, "I'd love to, I really would love to." I answered him trying not to sound like I was desperate or something for his affection but the way he was sitting on me again and pretending like it was nothing and that he didn't feel anything for me? Yeah...

"Good. It opens tomorrow, be downstairs at noon, I'll let you sleep late. We can eat some lunch around the area before we go to the museum." He decided for us as he was getting off my lap and taking me out the door. _Well then._

"Um alrighty sounds good," I said quietly being left in the hallway.

For some reason, he let out a small laugh, "Goodnight Alexander." 

He didn't see it because he closed the door but I freakin' swooned. Damn this boy really was playing with my emotions.

Was this a date?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> these two are so much fun to write as it's my first actual "slow burn" fic that i feel like yall are just dying to get them to kiss, well... soooooooooooon. ;) please @ me on twitter for all your reactions and things, thanks. #AleatoryMetanoiaFic


	9. Chapter 9

It really felt like time was standing still. When I was excited about something usually it all happened so quickly and it was over, but for some reason, I couldn't even find an outfit I wanted to wear for what we were doing today. I swore I looked at the clock at least 3 times and it hadn't changed. I was able to hobble around my room to do certain things too so it wasn't like I was completely crippled but I really thought being in this wheelchair was the reason why everything was at a standstill for me. Was this even a date? Did he actually ask me out or was I just dreaming it? It definitely isn't a date-date because has to wheel me around in this. I wouldn't want to do that. I was just really happy he wanted me to go somewhere with him - something he was actually passionate about. I couldn't wait to see the difference to be honest. 

Finally, I decided on just a pair of regular jeans and a pretty boring button-down shirt that I wasn't going to tuck in. I don't know why it just looked better that way. I also found some of my cologne and thought why not and sprayed myself a bit before heading downstairs to find him waiting for me right by the elevator. When I say he looked like an angel...HE LOOKED LIKE AN ANGEL. It was the way he dressed, the different look in his eyes, and the way he cracked a smile at me when he saw me. He did a little thing to his hair where he spiked it and had dyed little pink tips. He just, he looked so damn good. I was just so in love with him. I swallowed before cracking my smile back, I had to take a moment to control all my urges to just blurt out _you're beautiful_... but it came out anyway.

He shook his head at me and moved around to I guess start our journey to the art museum. "I can wheel myself you know, that's okay, I don't want you to have to through the whole museum." 

"It's okay, I don't mind. It's my fault you're in this predicament." He answered as I felt him leaning down to kiss the top of my head or smell my hair I wasn't really sure but I hoped it was because he noticed I put on cologne and why I did that I don't know. Okay, maybe I was trying to impress him a little bit.

"Magnus!" I kind of shouted. "There is no way I will let you take the blame for this," I growled a little turning my head up to look at him. "Please." I pouted.

He leaned down at me and I swear to god I thought he was going to kiss my pout but instead he kissed my nose. I still swooned but dear god, _WHY_! I swallowed again and he rolled his eyes, "I'm not fighting over this, but I want to okay?" 

I folded my arms in my chest and pouted again, "Fine." 

"Have fun you two, make sure someone buys one of my son's paintings!" His father called out to us and I was excited right away even if Magnus was pretty embarrassed.

"You told him?!" I shouted again tilting my head to look up at him. This was the reason why I wanted him to walk beside me and I could just do it myself but if insisted...

"Umm, yeah...I guess I took your advice. He always knew I wanted to be an artist, he just shoved figure skating down my throat with my mom." Magnus admitted and poked my nose to get me stop looking up at him like that. "You're going to give yourself a headache...stop that." He gestured for me to move my head back but now that I knew it annoyed him I kept doing it every time we started talking and kept yelling at me but it was so funny. I loved this side of him. I loved seeing him happy. I think I actually was the one to break him but in a really good positive way.

"Alright, the art gallery is right around the corner here...be nice to me, okay..." He pouted moving in front of me, _finally!_

"Why would I be mean to you, I'm never mean to you, and you said this was a museum...I thought we'd see more paintings and what not?" I was just being a little dumb only because I realized that this was strickly just art and I might just see a lot more of his paintings than just one. So he really wanted to keep that part a secret.

"Yeah, I figured that would be a good way to get you to want to come to see what I've done...didn't think you'd be into this kind of thing..." He shrugged a little on me and held the door open for me so I could wheel on in.

"Magnus Bane shut the hell up, I would do anything with you. All you have to do is ask me." I probably shouldn't have said it the way I said because I just got an eye roll out of him but I knew he knew I meant it.

This art gallery though...it definitely wasn't what I expected. There were all kinds of art hung up on the wall. Weird paintings too like just a picture of a random-dot that someone would spend millions on. My eyes were instantly drawn to a particular painting though as I just ended up moving along to it while Magnus set us up to have a pass to enter. The painting I was looking at was one of those beautifully and carefully drawn portraits that to be honest just looked like a real damn picture, kind of like the one Magnus drew of me. But this was of a woman. And then I realized...she was in an ice skating pose, not skating though, just posing. I swallowed when I heard him say it, I just knew. "That's my mother, I drew it from memory a few days before she passed away, I never got to show her it." 

I turned to him and just smiled softly and reached out to take his hand in mine. He grabbed it back so tightly and I swooned yet again. "She looks like you, she really is beautiful." I turned back to look at him again and then at the painting. This was really beautiful too, all of it, every part of being here with him. Time was standing still again, and my heart began to beat out of my chest when I noticed all of Magnus' paintings were of people in his life. There was one of Barry too and it was a rather angry photo of him. I almost had to laugh and Magnus realized why I was laughing.

"I have to explain okay? He was always angry at me. He always tried to please me and I was always such a dick to him and he would just make this face..." He went and mimicked what he drew and I started to laugh again.

"Did you love him?" I asked, goddamnit why did I ask that. Why. Why. Why.

"Yeah, but I wasn't in love with him. There's this huge difference right?" He answered me right away and I really liked that answer. 

I nodded. _I've never been in love either, not until I met you._ Did I say it aloud? Oh thank god, I didn't. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes for a moment just to remind myself that it was getting easier to talk to him and maybe I should tell him.

But I stayed kind of quiet after that.

The two of us were enjoying our time together and that was enough. This wasn't a date. And then I remembered what his father said and I didn't say anyone looking around at his paintings just yet. Magnus was talking to someone I didn't know for a few minutes so I ended up wandering off on my own. I found a different kind if painting he did in the middle of the art gallery that was surrounded by other paintings for other artists that were similar. This particular painting was of a sunflower field with a little girl trying to stand on her tiptoes to smell one of the flowers. For some reason, I took at as this whole kind of meaning and I wondered to myself if that was Magnus trying to reach for a goal of his but couldn't because something or someone was taking it away from him - just like the sunflower leaning towards the sun and the little girl trying to reach for it...it made sense in my head and I don't know how long I was staring but I wanted to buy this painting. I also wanted to buy the one he drew of me even if he gave it to me for free but I just needed to have it. I made the sale anonymously and wheeled myself back to where Magnus still was talking to the guy. "Alexander, this was my mom's doctor, he was just telling me that my mom actually knew I liked to draw too." He blushed when he said that, I could see the sense of relief he had on himself.

"It's so nice to meet you." I greeted him. "I told Magnus that his mother would have never minded that he loved to do this instead of ice skating." 

"His mother only wanted him to be happy, that was her only wish," The doctor smiled softly and patted Magnus on the hair a little and he made a face. His hair was too delicate to be touched anyway. I had to laugh as he rolled his eyes at me. What else is new?

It wasn't till just a little bit later when Magnus was finding something to drink and I was discussing a few paintings with his mother's doctor when he mentioned to me that he was buying the painting of his mother to give to his father because Magnus was afraid to give it to him. I told him what I did too and he thought my theory was pretty spot on. He mentioned that his mother's favorite flower was in fact a sunflower and that she had a miscarriage before she had Magnus due to cancer she had. She went into remission shortly after that and was able to have Magnus and continue to skate until it slowly crept back upon her. I almost started crying right then and there. She fought so hard and didn't even get to finish her dreams no wonder why Magnus was that upset with himself. I thanked his doctor for telling me all of that, he didn't have to and he probably shouldn't have but I wasn't going to tell Magnus...I was only going to love him harder...harder then I already did two seconds ago when the time felt like it was standing still on me as I caught him slowly walking back to me with two drinks.

"You are so kind, thank you." I smiled softly and took a long hard sip of what I realized was just apple juice.

He laughed quietly shaking his head, "You didn't even ask what it was," Why that made him laugh the way it did, I didn't know but it was the cutest damn thing and before I could really say anything he just sat in my lap and gazed up at me. "I sold two of my drawings," Magnus said rather quietly with a soft giggle. He was so happy!!

"I'm so happy for you," I smiled at him giving my cup of apple juice a click with his.

"I know it was you." He whispered into my ear, "Thank you."

I sighed softly but actually I shivered too.

"Magnus Bane, you just sold 3 more of your abstract paintings and one portrait," Someone announced over the loudspeaker and the two of just looked to each other with the same amount of happiness. They started to announce what other people sold so too so it was coming close to an end and I truly had such a great time with him...

It's only normal that all good things come to end right? Because on our journey home we of course just had to bump into our nemesis. 

"Well, well, well, looks like our plan worked." Magnus' ex-partner was clapping.

"Go to hell." Magnus shouted back trying to wheel him over with my wheelchair. I actually almost laughed and stopped him from doing so. I didn't want to pick a fight over this anymore than it already was. 

His ex-partner laughed along with his husband who I wanted to actually run over myself but I kept myself from doing anything because well...I was stuck in a wheelchair with a sprained ankle that hurt like fucking hell.

"We're so thrilled you can't even participate in the Olympics now unless you find someone who is willing to tolerate your annoying selfish ass...how is your ass by the way? Still hurt from me dropping you all the time?" 

I swear he was the most horrible human being in the world for talking to Magnus that way. He didn't deserve that.

"Oh, Alec will be participating in the Olympics with me, he will heal in time," Magnus answered.

"Yeah, there's nothing that will stop us. Not even your pathetic hit to my ankle."

"If only you just listened to me and dropped him as I told you to none of this would have happened...you could have pretended a little more to like Magnus just until you dropped him on the biggest night of his life and go back to being a washed-up has-been hockey player just like Magnus is a washed-up has-been figure skater." 

I didn't exactly tell Magnus the reason why he hit my ankle in just the right spot for me to blackout so for him to hear that I refused to drop him actually made him get this look in his eyes that I didn't know what he was going to do. But he didn't ask me about that when he turned to me with a sad face, "You are pretending to like me?"

"What! No!" I shouted. "Magnus..." I didn't know what to like respond with. How could he believe someone like these two idiots and not me?

The both of them shaking their heads at us, probably because we both just looked so pathetic.

"He's a has-been. He just needed your fame to get him the gold. We deserve that gold though for what we've both been through." 

"Listen to me, Simon, and listen to me real good...GO FUCK YOURSELF. I have had enough of your bullshit, I know I was a good figure skater, I skated my ass off and it was never about the fucking gold medal for me although you seem to think it is...if you knew me at all...which you didn't have to because you were just my partner...you would know that it was just to make my mother proud...but I realized that I don't need figure skating to make her proud anymore I have another passion and dream...but if you fucking think that for a second I am going to let you win the Olympics because we both deserve to be treated with disrespect because you're both sore losers and greedy bastards - you're the ones that have another thing coming. Alec is going to heal and we are going to beat you...I don't care if you know our weakness, I don't care if you think Alec doesn't deserve to be better than you in hockey - I know for a fact despite what he thinks that he was meant to be on the ice...whether it's hockey or figure skating - he's beautiful, he's graceful, and gives an actual shit about me and who I am...I don't even care if he's pretending to like me at this point. If we beat you fair and square like this whole thing is supposed to be after all you can have my money and the stupid medal I don't need it...I don't need anything anymore from any of you." Magnus was yelling and getting soft and then yelling again and it was the most heartfelt and most hurtful speech he'd ever said all at once. I didn't know what to even say to that as I just sat there looking as dumb as he always made me out to be.

"If you honestly think you can beat Simon and I with this losers broken ankle then we accept the challenge, there's no way he's going to be able to heal...the Olympics is in 3 weeks..."

"We know that, so no more stupid games, all you ever wanted to do was sabotage me because someone is actually better than you...I'd actually like to see you as a figure skater anyway, so if you really think you are better than me you shouldn't have to worry am I right?" I questioned the hell out of him and I think Magnus already had him scared. "If I were you, Jace, I'd just practice until you know you can beat us and we also decided that silver or bronze is fine...we're both going our separate ways after that anyway and look at what you'll have an actual husband who is just like a bastard as you...so I mean it's a win-win am I right?" 

If I could take back everything I just said at that moment...I would. I really acted like I didn't care about Magnus. I didn't mean to word it like that. I sure as hell didn't mean to actually agree with him that once this was over we'll go our separate ways especially after today's _date_. I just looked up at him and he was looking at me with the most annoyed and said look in his eyes and I knew it was all over from here on out. I fucked up. 

"I think our job is done." Both of them literally fucking said that in unison and let us be. 

"Magnus, we need to talk..." I tried to like phrase what I wanted to say and I at least thought Magnus would walk me home to talk about what just happened and we could be adults about but instead, he just left me there in the wheelchair giving me the finger and practically ran home. 

Like I said, _I fucked up._

...It's now one more week until the Olympics and my ankle was still hurting me, the way he hit really left it black and blue and so painful to walk on but today was the day I least try to attempt to walk. Magnus didn't come with me nor speak to me about literally anything since that night. That stupid night that I wish I could just do over and say something better than what I was trying to say because I mean I am dumb right? He literally knows how stupid I am and say stupid things why didn't he at least give me benefit of the doubt and you know what I didn't care anymore. I just wanted to go home once this whole thing was over. It wasn't about anything anymore. There was too much jealously and hatred over just a stupid medal. Everything was just stupid. So was my ankle because I couldn't skate what was even the point.

"It looks like you'll be okay just in time for the Olympics. The swelling definitely went down, you did everything you were supposed to. Go practice walking it first, you don't need this chair anymore." The doctor let go of me and me stand on my own. I didn't even want to hear that news today. I nodded and didn't really have to say anything else and limped out there. I thought about talking to Magnus the whole car ride home and I knew it was time to talk to him for real. Get this all out there in the open let him know everything. Not just about how I was quote-unquote-pretending but that I was so in love with him that I didn't want to go my separate way...I needed him...

I crawled up the stairs because I needed to work on walking on actual ground first before I attempted stairs but I managed. He must have heard me because I heard a door slam. I limped to his room and knocked really hard. "Don't pretend like you weren't waiting for me to come home to hear if I can skate again." I shouted at him while knocking. 

He opened the door on me mid-knock and gave me that stupid ass glare that I hated, it literally hurt my soul. "Fuck you, and no don't get your hopes up that's not an advantage on your part so you can use me there too."

Wow.

Fuckin' wow.

Did he really have to say that?

Like what the actual hell?

"Magnus? Excuse me? This is what you wanted isn't it? To go our seperate ways? Why are you making it seem like I'm the dick here?" _Why did I ask that? Why did I even pretend like this wasn't my fault too?_

Goddamnit.

"So you were using me? What's to fucking talk about, _Alexander_?" He was shoving me in the room and throwing me on to the bed. 

Why?

I don't know. 

I panicked and sat up and just looked at him dumbfounded, "I wasn't using you, I just said that to throw them off, if anything you were using me, so don't put all of this on me." I wasn't even yelling I was about to stupidly cry.

He folded his arms across his chest and huffed at me, "We literally have nothing in common, you love hockey, I think it's dumb, why do you keep defending yourself like you're actually going to stay with me once this is all over?"

_Again...what...the...fuck?_

"Now you're just putting words into my mouth and assuming shit about me you don't know. You said really nice things about me to Simon and Jace...was that just all a lie? Was you taking me to that art gallery to show off your paintings and knowing that I would buy the two pieces from you just a way to make money off me? Was everything you said about me the day before that just a lie too? If you really care about me you have a really shitty way of showing it and I don't deserve that." I spoke up defending myself, I shouldn't have because I just sounded like a whiney brat...I sounded just like him though. The whiney brat he's always been to me. _I rolled my eyes at myself._

"You're right, I don't deserve you." He answered me moving right into my lap like I predicted he would the second he put me on the bed. It seemed like _our thing_ or something. "You deserve the gold medal for putting up with my shit, for seeing past it, for loving me the way I am even when I'm this massive dick to you and I deserve all the hate from you yet you just refuse to hate me...but I can't get you out of my head Alexander, I just can't. I keep trying...I can't do it...I can't hurt you. I don't know how." I think I know what he was getting at so I just nodded, I swallowed then nodded again and kissed his forehead before having to pick him up and make him get off of me. I couldn't do this. I don't know if he was being a tease or not right nor or if he couldn't find the words to say but if I had to love him all on my own, at least I could try to get over him once this was all over...

"Listen, I'll just see you on the day of the Olympics. We know the routine, if we win, we win, if we don't, we don't. At least we can say we tried and had the time of our lives doing it." I nodded softly with a small smile and grabbed the door handle. I had to practice walking and skating again despite the little bit of pain before anything else.

Magnus nodded with a smile too, half smiled, but he smiled, "Hey Alexander? Just one thing..." 

"Don't drop you," I answered him.

Magnus smiled bigger and I limped out of the room. I heard him sigh really loudly so I just bolted into my room and let out the loudest sob into my pillow.

 _I'm so damn in love with you, Magnus Bane._...

I guess just one question remains are we ready for the Olympics?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for revealing the nemesis of them jace and simon, i literally was holding out on revealing them. i'm sorry if i made jace a bad guy, but let's go with it...for now...he can redeem himself maybe. i hope you like this chapter anyway and just get ready for the last. i promise i won't disappoint. thanks for reading!!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so very sorry that this has taken forever to write. i didn't want it to end so quickly. i also kept pushing back different endings in my head so i really hope you like what i did with it. i decided to go with one more chapter, so i promise you won't have to wait that long!!

Practice makes perfect, that's what they say...but my practicing was for the birds, the actual birds. Wait that's a horrible statement because even birds are better skaters than me. I shouldn't even be talking like I don't like to skate or that my skating is for the birds...it's just that I can't skate anymore. I can't without feeling excruciating pain in my ankle. I can't believe I am even trying anymore and for what? It's obvious that Magnus only wants to win for the money and having "gold" and even if we agreed that it didn't really even matter anymore - I still felt like he was lying to me because of the way he never even wanted to ask how I was doing or bother calling me to see if I could do this on my own.

What was the entire point of me falling in love with him in the first place? Why did I get picked to skate with him when we were complete opposites? Why did his father like me so much and encourage me to go after him after all he was trying to do in the first place with him and Barry.

Speaking of Barry, why was he the one out of all people to be the one Magnus was supposedly in love with.

Speaking of annoying people and rude people and just plain "absurd" people as Magnus liked to things and me...how in the world did it come down to us competing against the person that physically hurt me and the one person that dropped Magnus? How ridiculous was this? And the funniest thing about it was that Magnus' father truly thought we had it all in the bag and were going to win this thing. At least we decided to do it fair and square but with my ankle hurting this bad, I honestly don't even think we'll make 3rd place. I just don't want to do it anymore and practicing on my own was making me really lonely. Why in the world was I practicing on my own when I was supposed to be with a partner? So many questions and little answers and I was done. I mean I knew the reason why I was practicing alone - Magnus suggested it because technically we couldn't stand each other and we had a pretty big fight but the fight was over when he suggested I just practice on my own. I still didn't understand and sure I was considered dumb to him but now I really felt like a dumbass being on my own. Maybe he was testing me and now I just needed to forget the pain in my ankle and my heart and get this shit over with.

I took some more Advil and when it finally kicked in, I tried to just land a triple axel for no real reason at all other then knowing no one was watching so if I fell I wouldn't get my ass laughed at. When I didn't fall down and landed it fucking perfectly, I literally nearly had a heart attack. Are you kidding me?I FUCKING LANDED A TRIPLE AXEL.

I tried it again.

Landed it.

Again.

Landed it.

I tried lifting out my leg as far as Magnus could go too.

Fucking nailed it.

Was this a sign or something from the figuring skating gods?

It was nearing 10 pm at night but I didn't care, I got in the car and drove as fast as I could to Magnus' house. His father let me in and told me where he was which was no surprise that he was practicing too. I ran all the way down the stairs, completely out of breath calling his name so excitedly to share my good news.

I didn't just find Magnus though, I found him in the middle of the ice figuring skating around someone...fucking Barry. OUT OF ALL DAMN PEOPLE IT JUST HAD TO BE HIM. I didn't have my skates on but I ran so damn quick on the ice and slid right into him and yes it was completely on purpose.

"What the hell!" Magnus shouted out to me, "You are absurd, what do you even think you are doing?" He got up and brushed himself off trying to help me up - at least he had some manners unlike me.

"I was calling you but you didn't answer your phone," I lied but it was a good cover because he wouldn't be able to answer it anyway since he was figuring skating around Barry. "So why is he here?" I asked curiously raising my eyebrow, hoping I wouldn't get angry.

"You didn't answer my question," He retorted back to me and folded his arms.

"Oh, well uh...I nailed a triple axel and can do this." I took my foot out from under me and held it up as high as I could go to show off.

Magnus laughed at me.

Just laughed. "Bravo." He clapped.

"Oh come on, you know I haven't been able to do it - since I even started and what the hell I thought you would be more proud of me?!!" I frowned dropping my foot back down on the ice and almost fell but I caught my balance. "So answer my question now..." I almost growled.

"I asked him to come so I could have someone to watch me skate, I wanted him to see that I was in fact excited to skate because I have something to look forward to now," Magnus answered and took Barry's hand into his.

"He told me that it was you who encouraged him to do what he loves and that when this is all over he can have all that and more whether you guys win or not," Barry answered.

I swallowed. So did this mean that they could live happily ever after now and I was just the one being used to make Magnus happy and win the gold as I predicted all along?

"Oh, wow. I mean, just fuck you. Fuck both of you." I couldn't even think of anything else important to say other than listen to my heart literally shattering into a million pieces while I stood there dumbfounded. It was if this was the goddamn plan all along and I was just supposed to say goodbye soon as it was all over. I stupidly fell in love too and he didn't even notice it...or if he did he chose to ignore it and make me look like a real idiot for even beliving all his words to me.

"Alexander, calm down," Magnus said as if it was actually supposed to calm me down. "We are just too different, we don't mix well. We can skate well but we don't get along like Barry and I do."

"That's bullshit and you know it." I whimpered, the tears were coming.

"Actually it is bullshit, don't lie to yourself, Magnus. You are trying so damn hard to hide your feeling for Alec while trying to use me in the process. I'll always be your best friend, that I can promise you, but as a lover, no." Barry said to my surprise and I just...my heart stopped beating. But I didn't know what to say. Barry took a walk around me and just started leaving the ice. Magnus was frozen too and he was staring down at his skates rather than looking at me.

The only logical thing for me to do now was to attempt to cheer him up.

But I just couldn't.

He needed to tell me the truth first.

But he didn't.

"I just don't understand why you would call Barry instead of me, I'm your partner and this whole working alone thing is really dumb don't you think?" I tried to sound like I wasn't upset, but I was and my voice cracked and I held back everything in me to curse him out again for just being such a damn pod person. "I'm just doing what's best for both of us," Magnus said rather quietly and looked down. "This isn't what you want, you're just doing it for me..." He didn't know me! But then again he did. "Actually, I love the ice. I love being with you. I loved being with you even when we fought...you challenged me..." I was telling the truth, the whole truth. Magnus looked for his phone in his back pocket and still didn't look up at me, but then suddenly he did with another angry face. 

"You never texted me." He glared at me like he was purposely looking for a lie. My lie. 

But that shouldn't have mattered. "I was excited, I just drove over as quick as I could. No, I didn't text you. I'm sorry I lied..."

"I can't trust you, that's the thing...I need a partner I can trust..." Magnus flat out spoke to me like I haven't been completely honest with him this entire time. 

What the hell?

"Excuse me? One little lie about a text message, I just wanted to come over...I knew you wouldn't answer your text message obviously...so I just drove over. It's not like it mattered anyway you were with _him_." I said it in disgust. I really didn't like him. I could have. He was on my side. But I just. Something about him bothered me and it was probably because I felt like I always had to be in competition with him. If I wasn't so in love with Magnus (which now I have no idea why I am) this really wouldn't even be an issue.

"Whatever," Magnus said so unsympathetically to me that I just fell back on my heels in utter defeat. 

What did he even want from me? What was I doing wrong? Why couldn't he see that I just wanted to be with him? I really didn't want to spell it out. I wanted it to be perfect. I wanted to say it all at the right time but if he didn't love me back what was even the point?

"Do you want to win this with me or not?" I just asked him curiously raising an eyebrow and inching forward now.

"Yes, I do." He answered with another low voice, I barely even heard him.

"Then why are you keeping me from working with you?" It was a serious question right?

"Because at the moment I just don't care...I think it'll be better if we just come together that day...it'll be more intense..." Magnus answered me and I wondered what he meant? Was he serious? Could this work? Or did he just not want to work with me anymore and completely wanted us to suck and have it all end dramatically and be humiliated. I didn't know how to even answer that so I just nodded and walked off the ice as fast as I could without trying to slip and fall because we certainly didn't need another mishap and make us look like even more like two morans. 

He didn't tell me to wait.

He didn't call out my name.

I took my time too.

Nothing...

Absolutely nothing.

I don't know what was I doing anymore.

I just practiced until I couldn't practice anymore...

And so the Olympics came. Was I ready? Yeah... 

I wanted this. 

I didn't care about winning as long as I won something but what I wanted most though was Magnus and I knew I absolutely couldn't hold it in anymore. I was going to burst. I just need to tell him I love him before it was too late and he was gone forever. Maybe if I told him I loved him - it would make him stay.

We practiced just once. Everything we ever learned and just bounced off of each other which I think it just worked. It was like he knew every move I was going to make and he let me toss him once, but it was nothing extra special. He then told me that I shouldn't do it in the competition because he would fall. He didn't trust me enough - and that physically hurt me more than he'll ever know. After all this time and all the special moves we did together, I kept insisting we do it in the show tonight but he just kept saying no. I took a breather from fighting with him everything had already started before I even realized. It was fucking amazing how good everyone was and there was no damn way we were going to even come close now especially since we already fighting...

It was officially our turn and to completely honest I wasn't even paying attention to anyone's scores so I didn't know how close we would be to winning the gold, silver, or bronze in any case. My mind was just focused on Magnus. All of him. He looked beautiful tonight. I didn't even tell him that. 

"Look, I don't care about how we do okay?" Magnus whispered to me. "I just want you to feel like you belong out there." 

"I do belong out there with you." I answered him, nodding fully.

"You don't need me, after this you will be able to go back to hockey, I can feel it." Magnus smiled softly and it kind of warmed my heart but I didn't want anything if I couldn't have him.

I swallowed. It was literally now or never, "I don't care how you feel about me, I don't care if I'll never see you again - as long as you know - Magnus...I've fallen in love with you. Magnus Bane, I am in love with you and I don't want the world, I don't want hockey, I don't want anything but you." It fucking all came out like absolute word vomit in the worst way. Holy shit.

Magnus looked at me quite dumbfounded. I swear he was going to puke any second. I needed him to answer me. I know I shouldn't have done this now, but I saw him swallow. "We're doing the move you want, throw me up in the air and let me go for it..." Magnus pushed passed me started to walk on to the ice in his position. 

What the hell. 

What was I supposed to do now?

Oh shit...it was our turn. I followed him, getting behind him gracefully, my hands on his hips. I was going to literally everything I ever learned from him and bounce off him and mirror him.

But wait.

Did he love me back?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in the next and last chapter i will have their figure skating olympic routine for you. it'll be filled with emotion and i hope you are ready for it all. thanks for reading.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello everyone, thanks so much for reading this, i was really taking my time with this that i finally decided i couldn't end it here and have a great plot for you guys for a sequel. so this isn't the end!!!

The announcer started talk about us, it was so strange to me, like almost as if he knew us. I mean I guess he did and I think he realized just how different we really were and the whole reasoning behind our song choice. 

"Alec Lightwood and Magnus Bane are figuring skating to the third installment of Unforgiven by Metallica. From their first dance together to their second dance together they have shown us nothing but growth and finding a figure-skating partner that knows each other every move. Will their routine to Unforgiven 3 show us exactly what we need to see?"

"I think so, Bob. These lyrics are so pure and real. Also intoxicating. I feel as if Alec is the one that is relating to it as Magnus dances and skates around him. We see the trust in Magnus' eyes now and it was hard to in the beginning...let's see just how they do..."

I listened to what they said before I realized Magnus was already moving around me to skate ever so eloquently. I swallowed and opened up myself to reach for him and begin. It started off beautifully slow because we really didn't practice together and that's when I realized that this was the reason, I just had to mirror him, let him shine, and just reach for him to take the lead. I knew exactly when to pick him up and throw him up in the air and the first time I caught him, he just decided that I should. It was perfect, I felt it. I heard the crowd cheer so it must have looked so damn wonderful. We both mirrored each other with triple axels too and I don't think he expected me to do it, but damn I know it must have look good. 

We did not one but two triple axels together in sync, flawlessly. Then he was lifting his leg up against me giving me a slight smirk so I moved down and around it and took his hand and started to spin him low on the ice, I even let go real quick and switched hands so I got the crowd going again, it must have looked so good and it looked even better when Magnus effortlessly got up and skated around me and I could see in his eyes what he wanted to do next, but I stalled. I started to skate around him, give him little looks as he pulled back as if he was relating to the song and the lyrics that we had playing. I couldn't hear the announcers talking but I know they were mumbling something about what was coming. I lifted up my leg up as far as I could go and Magnus mirrored me giving me another look. I knew it was coming okay? I just needed to get ready...

The second toss was coming and I hoped for the best because this time he had to let go on his own and land, and well, it went... he stumbled. Fuck. It was still graceful though, and we quickly fixed it by skating around each other just as graceful, and with the second toss coming (the move we decided to throw away at first) was coming up, and to be honest, I was so fucking scared because what if he didn't land this, what if I dropped him? It would be all over. I held in my breath, took him into my arms, and lifted him up above my head first, this wasn't scripted either. He looked down at me with trust in his eyes as I let him down gently and he stood up against me. No one knew that we didn't plan that, I could tell. The crowd was so quiet and even the announcer was, and then at that moment I began the move, I took him in the air and let him go as high as I was allowed to throw him. This move was almost illegal to do and no one ever had done it before but it was done and he was out of my hands now...

Magnas began spinning in the air, his graceful stance so perfect, his body flawless against the air and he landed. He landed! He didn't stumble. He didn't fall. He just landed and skated right around me, he purposely smirked at me and lifted his leg up at me and I ducked underneath it and lifted him up again taking the lead again and it was all over. Holy shit. Did we do it?

[magnus&alec olympic unforgiven iii](https://vimeo.com/476721429) from [westallenkiss](https://vimeo.com/user120642010) on [Vimeo](https://vimeo.com).

He stood up against me again, he felt fragile and out of breath. I took his hands in mine, "Why did you do that? We didn't even practice!" I don't know why I shouted or why I even asked when we nailed it. I just, yeah.

Magnus giggled at me, shaking his head, "Because I trusted you, I knew it would get you so worked up and worried..." He let go of my hand to reach for my cheek, "I love you too, Alexander, and I don't know why I didn't say it sooner..." His lips brushed up against mine as he stood on the tip of his skates while latching on to me. I heard the crowd start to go wild around us the announcers even shouting out that they knew it would happen. 

Our kiss was phenomenal because ended up giggling into it, our bodies eventually colliding and I was suddenly holding him as he was wrapped around me. It was our first kiss and I couldn't have asked for a better first kiss. I dreamed of this moment, I pictured it happening and it was 10x better than I had ever dreamed about. It was so real, so filled with love and longing and our lips couldn't part or pull away from each other until I realized where we were still were in the middle of the ice. We continued though as I skated with him wrapped around me so we could listen to our scores. They were probably going to be bad with his first stumble. 

"5.0...5.0...5.0...4.9...oh my goodness, it's the second-highest score of the night, the new couple, the hockey player meets the figure skater gets second best, congratulations!" I don't know how this announcer was on our side or loved us so much but we were so floored and it took us a second to realize what she had even said as we were being escorted back to the ice to be handed the silver medal. What did this mean? I mean other than it was second place...what did it mean for Magnus and I? 

I looked to him with all honesty in my eyes, flowers, and things were being thrown at us. The gold medalist was underdogs too, we never met them before and when I turned my left there stood the losers in our lives. They got the bronze. They didn't even have anything to say to us. I swallowed again and just spoke, "What does this mean?" I asked Magnus pressing a kiss to his cheek hoping he knew what I was asking.

"It means that the unpredicted happened. We both wanted the gold to go our separate ways right? Well...hey, we got second best, that means we live life together because I don't want to lose you, I can't, I'm sorry...somehow I fell in love with you and to hear that you love me too...we should try?" 

Wow. Just. Holy freakin' wow. He confessed he loved me not once but twice.

I took a deep breath and smiled so big my cheeks hurt. "I never agreed with a statement more." And I grabbed him into another kiss. I could hear the crowd roaring again. They were our biggest fans. I could also hear Magnus' ex-partner get disgusted so I gave him the figure and skated off with Magnus again for even more congratulations even if it was second place. 

If I do say so myself, second place was first place to us. Magnus was right. It was exactly what he wanted all along...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you have enjoyed this fic and all that i did with it and how it went down. i am planning a sequel to it because their story isn't over yet. please look for it soon. please feel free to @ me on twitter over at @westallenkiss and make sure to follow so you know when the sequel is coming. also don't forget to watch the real performance with the real couple used in this [here](https://youtu.be/l30Ua6KTEfM)!!!
> 
> go go go, the sequel is here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27454462/chapters/67118710

**Author's Note:**

> I truly hope I've captured your interest in this fic, I have wanted to write this for so long and we are. Not sure if we still do this but you can find me on twitter @westallenkiss as well and if you want to follow the story please use the hashtag #AleatoryMetanoiaFic

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Mistake No. 2](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27454462) by [westallenkiss](https://archiveofourown.org/users/westallenkiss/pseuds/westallenkiss)




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